I’ve been away from the site for awhile. My mom has had some ups and downs over the past couple of months, including a recent hospital stay, which just about did us both in.
I’m having a hard time bouncing back from that. And her resistance to my help has worn me down in new ways. Oppression, depression, suppression and definitely no room for expression. It wears on you. It makes it hard to think. Hard to remember things. Hard to work. Hard to care.
Yesterday, I had this word picture in my head…
It’s getting dark. We’re in the ocean, I’m treading water and trying to get her to shore, but she’s not budging.
I can’t figure out if she’s just refusing to swim or if she’s forgotten how. Either way, the effort is dragging us both down. I’m exhausted, and I need her to help me help her. But she doesn’t.
Now and then we come to a place where we can touch bottom, or some rocks where we can rest. But then we’re back in the deep again and I have to keep paddling. For both of us.