A New Beginning

(Editor’s Note: Bob begins our Community Caregiving Journal by writing about our first three words: Shoulder, Expect, Chimney.)

A lot to shoulder, that’s for sure but easier when you open the door; opening the door to others to help; it’s easier than a silent, isolated, painful inner yelp.  I expect me to do better in my role and I expect you to somehow make it easier.  Twenty-five years of marriage we worked together. Now I miss what we had so much–I couldn’t have done it without you.  You were always somehow stronger, but you would say we’re stronger in different ways.  The chimney of our lives seemed to always have a beautiful serene atmosphere to it.  Now our chimneys burn within with searing pain and sadness how our lives turned upside down.  Things have changed but our spirits don’t have to.  Our human-ness doesn’t have to.  It’s so hard to enjoy our time together since, so often, what follows it is separation and we’re just both caught in the pain of  it.  We still have to find a way.  Easy for me to say.  Thank you for your understanding when I’m wiped out tired.  Or, when I have so many tasks to contend with that can’t wait.  I would be with you all days if I could.  We can lean on each other’s shoulder; expect little miracles while expressing gratitude for what we have.  Inside our chimney can be warm and full of delight.  Let’s begin….Lets begin, love, my bride….Let’s begin…..I love you, me

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4 Comments on "A New Beginning"

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Dec 3, 2012

I love this entry, Bob. I love the resilience of it — that in the midst of all you and your wife are going through, you can take what I think of as a side step. Even in great pain, there is still possibility. *Hugs*

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Dec 4, 2012

Hi Bob,
Thank you for sharing your words and writing, with us. I love your reference to miracles: “to expect little miracles.” It’s those small miracles that truly provide hope, bright enough to keep us going. Thinking of you; so grateful for your example in focussing on what’s truly important.