The Call of Normal, with a Pill Switch Chaser
Jan 17 2013 in Community Caregiving Journal by ejourneys
(From the Community Caregiving Journal 3-word prompt Call, Switch, Normal.)
It happens suddenly, after months and months: one of the three of us puts out a call via email: “Hey you two, we need to get together some time! Want to try to set a lunch date?”
The other two of us jumped at the chance.
We live a fair distance from each other. We meet at the same restaurant each time, which means that each of us drives about 35 miles one way, give or take. Our meeting time is early enough so that we miss the lunch rush and can just pop into a booth.
On Wednesday, I spent a few hours in the land of Normal — for the first time in about a year.
My two friends and I had last gotten together for lunch about a year ago. That was the last time I had enjoyed a social outing where it was just me getting together with friends to shoot the breeze.
We commandeered our booth for about three hours and then moved to the bar for another half hour before we finally went our separate ways. During that time we caught each other up on our lives, our creative and research projects, people we know. We had done events together in the past — that’s how we had all met in the first place, and my two friends are still doing events — so we also shared various forms of shop talk.
We vowed to do this more often. I felt as though I had found an oasis in the desert and spent a few hours in a jewel blue pool, rejuvenating myself for a return to the dunes. Normal conversation, with normal people! Or, in our case, “normal” in quotes because as creatives we are a rather eccentric bunch.
But it’s our normal.
When I told my partner — because I’d be gone for about half a day — that I was meeting a couple of my friends for lunch, she said she felt excluded. *sigh* I tried to explain that we’ve done it this way in the past and that their spouses weren’t coming, either. That maybe we do this two or three times a year (or, in the case of this past year, once).
She accused me of being defensive.
I felt I had to draw a line. My partner didn’t like it, but she resigned herself to it. We’d had a busy day on Tuesday. When it came time for me to leave on Wednesday morning, she was still asleep.
On Tuesday my partner had a routine checkup with her primary MD. Her bloodwork is fine for the most part, but — and this surprised me — her thyroid is underactive. My partner can awaken starving in the middle of the night. Going for eight hours without food for a fasting blood test is torture for her. We can’t take a walk without her needing to stop somewhere to eat. So I always thought that her thyroid, if anything, was overactive — because to me she seems to have the metabolism of a jackrabbit.
Shows you what I know. The MD gave her a prescription for the lightest dose of Synthroid to start, and my partner gets another blood test in about three months — non-fasting, thank goodness. (That means no 15-mile drive to the hospital and its 24/7 lab in the middle of the night.)
After the MD she needed food. We got take-out at a great little Filipino restaurant in town, then stopped at the natural foods store for the muesli she likes. Then to the park, where she ate the take-out. Then to Lowe’s to check out space heaters. Then to the PO Box for mail. Then to CVS, where she dropped off her Rx and shopped for vitamins; and finally home and more food.
My new e-reader was a wonderful patience enhancement tool. I could get right back into reading Darwin’s Voyage of the Beagle while I (a) waited for my partner to get ready to leave the house, (b) waited at the doctor’s office, (c) waited as she ate in the park, (d) waited as she painstakingly examined all the space heaters, before deciding that she couldn’t decide whether to get one, and (e) waited as she inspected all the vitamins at CVS.
We had left the house a few minutes after 3 p.m. and got home around 8:30.
After I returned home from my lunch on Wednesday, we went to pick up the Synthroid, along with her estrogen replacement. My partner said she had a question about drug interactions, because the two different pills can interfere with each other’s effectiveness if taken at the same time — so I thought she was about to ask the pharmacist how far apart she needed to take them.
Instead, she asked about the pill coatings for the Synthroid. Because if a pill coating contains Aluminum Lake, she scrapes the coating off. She doesn’t want to ingest any kind of aluminum at all.
The pharmacist warned her that the pill dosage was only 25 micrograms — it’s a little pill — and if she scraped off the coating she might not effectively have anything left to take.
I pictured a raccoon with a sugar cube. (“If you give a raccoon a sugar cube, it will first try to clean it (as raccoons clean all their food before eating it). It will wash it and wash it until the sugar cube finally dissolves to nothing.” — Bradley’s Animal Place)
My partner was adamant.
I told her that she had been tested for aluminum, and that the MD hadn’t said anything about the result being out of the ordinary.
“Why do you think that is?” my partner asked. “That’s because I take all the pill coatings off!” Like this:

And that’s for big multivitamin pills. As I had written back in August, “My bet is that her aluminum level will be fine, which she will credit specifically to her removing the vitamin coatings. (See? It worked!)”
Now she wants to switch her prescription to the 50 microgram dosage because it has no Aluminum Lake in its coating — and then cut the pill in half for her 25 micrograms.
I gave her a printout of this info about Aluminum Lake, which she wholly rejected. No surprise there, but I had to try.
As for her other question (which I ended up asking), if she takes the Synthroid in the morning and her estrogen in the afternoon, she should be fine as far as the pills are concerned. I’ve been looking at websites where Synthroid is discussed in conjunction with MS and what I read there has so far been encouraging.
However, potential side effects seem to match much of what she’s already experiencing with her MS. So, we’ll just wait and see.
That is, if she has anything left once she takes the coatings off.

Sunshine=Sometimes said on January 17, 2013
Dear ejourneys,
This a priceless gem! I hope you don’t mind? But I was laughing throughout! Sorta chuckling really…. You continue to make sense out of the senseless though. Maybe that is why you are so fun to read! My Mom talked to my cousin yesterday who just “rants” as Mom calls it…, and I told her “Mom, you went through it with Dad and me? Why do you continue to try and make sense with M? [my cousin who is mentally disordered?]” Tell me, ej? Isn’t it frustrating? Going round and round in circles? There IS no sense in it…. Believe me! Did you ever see THE BEAUTIFUL MIND? About John Nash? HE saw the people but no one else did… Yet? He even received the Noble Prize. Anyway? I had to chuckle through this. You write beautifully, ej. Very perfect and precise! Keep it up just for me, friend! I love it! {{HUGS}}
ejourneys said on January 17, 2013
Hi, S=S — I really need to see that movie. We haven’t been to a theater since 2009 and have no TV/cable or Netflix. The two movie rental places near us have closed down. So I’ll probably break down and see what I can stream online.
I love your perspective! It can almost feel like attempted brainwashing when it’s just my partner and me and she is so determined.
Sunshine=Sometimes said on January 17, 2013
Oh, ejourneys, I meant to tell you? I am sorta agoraphobic and in addition to that? whenever I am determined to leave the house I think Mom will fall. That makes 3 times now and of course I can leave the house just feaer to!
I’m glad your partner was sleeping and didn’t even think about you leaving to have your get together! {{HUGS}}
ejourneys said on January 17, 2013
I can understand your reluctance, especially with your mom refusing to use a walker! I’m very glad that you can overcome your fear and get to the clubhouse.
Often my partner will express a wish to go somewhere or do something, but then her need for sleep wins out.
Sunshine=Sometimes said on January 17, 2013
Oh, yes, ej! I meant to tell you too! The last movie I saw in the theatre was TITANIC! Old stuff eh? But I cannot sit too still for it. Maybe like your partner? About your partner eating all the time? I think her meds may have something to do with that? {{HUGS}}
ejourneys said on January 17, 2013
My partner interrupts during movies because she misses things. The only med she’s on is estrogen (since 2009)–she’s been hungry for as long as I’ve known her (17 years). She doesn’t want MS or psychoactive meds, and her brain damage complicates things. (We couldn’t tell the difference between a side effect of psychosis from the med and psychosis due to her MS-acting-like-traumatic brain injury.) The MS specialist we saw didn’t think MS meds would do any good. The neurologists thought the meds might do a little toward slowing her progress, but her MRI readings have held steady. So, we’re monitoring. A couple of docs recommended Abilify or Resperdal when her dx was schizophrenia, but an incompetent psychiatrist (who hadn’t read the records I had provided two weeks before the appointment) prescribed citalopram, which caused falls and brain shock.(((Hugs)))
Sunshine=Sometimes said on January 17, 2013
P.S. EJ? I’m so glad you had a day of “normal” too! You deserved it! It sounded like fun! Heck! I don’t even do that! You are indeed more “normal” than I am! I was jealous!
{{HUGS}}
Sunshine=Sometimes said on January 17, 2013
Hi ej, attempted brainwashing? Do you mean your partner is attempting to brainwash you? Yep! I can see that! She has an agenda you know. She lives in her own world and wants you to live there with her!
OOOoops! Gotta go! See you later! {{HUGS}}
ejourneys said on January 17, 2013
Exactly. I think one of the comments in a past entry of mine referred to it as a vortex she tries to pull me into, so that we can be there together.
(((Hugs)))
Sunshine=Sometimes said on January 17, 2013
Hi ej, you are a treasure! To take care of your partner for so long! 17 years! WOW! My Mom of course took care of me for many years too. Now? I think she is beginning to forget things and of course she can’t hear too well. And then the migraines. About the clubhouse? I don’t go as often as I should. Maybe this quarter it will be better!
Trish said on January 18, 2013
ejourneys, I am thrilled you were able to have lunch with your friends. Good for you for drawing a boundary when your partner was telling you how she felt left out. It’s okay for her to feel that way but it’s okay for you to have time with your friends too. No couple can fulfill every emotional need of each other and it makes it so much healthier to have outside friends and interests. It doesn’t detract from your relationship but adds to it! Of course, you know all this but it’s nice to be validated.
I understand the frustration when it comes to dealing with the ideas like scraping the aluminum off the pills. I’m sure I shared with you my dad’s belief he was being gassed with toxic fumes through the A/C and lived with a broken A/C for a couple of years (and it gets hot where he lived!). There’s no way to talk rationally to them when they get ideas like that in their head. Anyway, I haven’t told you in a while but I do admire you and your patience. Hugs!
ejourneys said on January 20, 2013
Thanks, Trish! I’ll take all the validation I can get!
My partner has decided not to take the Synthroid for now and wants to get a second opinion from an endocrinologist. Might not be a bad idea. I’ve asked the MS support group for recommendations.
Kathy said on January 19, 2013
Ohhh EJ, a little respite and recharging with friends. Does a body, mind and heart good
I’m so happy you got the opportunity to do that!
I’m kind of with your partner on the lowes thing. I LOVE lowes but find it overwhelming unless I know specifically what I want or need. I’ve been known to walk out with nothing more than a crick in my neck from looking up at light fixtures and I admit I can stay in there for a very long time :/
ejourneys said on January 20, 2013
Thanks, Kathy! Big box hardware stores can overwhelm me, too. My partner also has very particular requirements. She doesn’t want anything with a fan. Nothing that runs on oil or gas. That leaves ceramic heaters, which need room to operate (another sticking point). Then she has thermostat requirements…
Denise said on January 19, 2013
I LOVE your headline.
Your get-together with your friends sounds absolutely heavenly. I can hear how much you enjoyed being with them. I also hope that you’ll schedule the lunch as often as you can. (Have you scheduled the next get-together?)
How much did you share with your friends about your role as a family caregiver? Or, did you decide to really take a break and simply be without explaining how you be at home?
ejourneys said on January 20, 2013
Thanks, Denise! We haven’t scheduled the next get-together yet — we’ll see how well we do! Both of them know about my caregiving role and our situation here, so I spent a few minutes bringing them up to speed. Then we got onto more fun subjects!