This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me for our monthly chat. Today, we discussed times during caregiving when you may feel jealous. For instance, your caree can’t stop complimenting the home health aide or generously expresses gratitude to the CNA. For you, well, your caree just seems disinterested. Ugh, that hurts.
Anna shared a wonderful reminder: It may just easier for your caree to be kind and grateful to professionals like the CNA or home health aide. It’s almost like they have a first date every time they interact; your caree will be on his or her best behavior. With you, because of your shared history, your caree may either protect his or her vulnerability (making it hard to say “thanks”) or simply be very comfortable being just who they are (including, perhaps, crabby).
That doesn’t mean that this doesn’t hurt. You feel rejected, like you’re failing. Anna encouraged us to keep our value, knowing that the relationship a caree has with others isn’t about us. Caregiving is about letting go, Anna said, and letting go so your caree can enjoy a good relationship with others on the care team is good.
And, Anna said, simply being with your caregiving is incredibly valuable. You also have a choice: Who do you want to be when you interact with and care for your caree?
I wonder: Do you feel jealousy toward others, whether it be a family member or a professional, like a CNA? How did you work through the feelings? Please share your thoughts and experiences in our comments section, below.
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