Where Do I Begin?
Feb 6 2013 in Caring for Parents by tiredamy2007
Hey everyone. I am sorry that I haven’t been on here. Last month my dad was put in the hospital on December 31 and got out on the 17th. He was in terrible shape. He had a kidney infection and pneumonia. We were very worried that we would lose him. It was very touch and go for awhile.
So after he got out of the hospital he was not strong enough to come home. So we had to place him in a nursing home. He was there from the 17th to the 2nd of this month.
As usual, I had no help in making any decisions. I asked my sisters and they didn’t do anything. So I made the right decision to get him therapy. While he was in the nursing home he tried really hard to do better with his therapy and exercise. He came home and is not doing anything. Why is it that they will do it for others but not us caregivers? So I am trying to think of ways to get him out of his chair. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Why does all of the would fall on one person and everyone thinks that is okay? I had to drop my classes so that I can take care of mom and now mom and dad. I wish that I had the chance to make something of myself. Each time I try it is ruined by having to do more caring. I love my job of caring with all my heart but would like to do something for me so that I have something to support myself when the time comes that they are not around.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated!
Denise said on February 6, 2013
Oh, Amy, I’m so sorry. I hear the heartache. You’ve had so much to do for so long.
I understand the disappointment. You can’t help but wonder: When will it be my turn?? It’s hard not to feel resentful. You’ve done so much for your parents and for your family. You truly deserve a turn.
I’m wondering: What do you need right now? What could make the situation easier for you?
Hang on, Amy. You are a very special person. We need you to share your gifts with the world.
@gail said on February 6, 2013
Dear Amy? I most probably cannot say it better than Denise can? But so many of us are with you in spirit! My only suggestion is Be here as much as you can or are able. Write blogs such as this. Or join the VRide if you need to or can. Or read the book club selection if you like to escape via a book. Maybe this oasis of a place – this caregiving.com – can be your steady rock for now. Maybe we can be your family or friends enough to make your life less lonely. Do you think so maybe?
So many people here have become my friends here. If you cannot listen at the time of a webinar or blogtalkradio? Listen to the archived ones. They transport you. Or chat with us at 8pm EST on Tues. nights or 2pm EST on Wed. afternoons. We are here to help you! Just as you will be here to help us! Just ask! I think I said enough so you get the jist of it…. We care! {{HUGS}}
ejourneys said on February 7, 2013
I am so sorry, Amy.
Have you asked your father why he tried hard in therapy at the nursing home? What made that work for him? Maybe, based on his answers, changes (even small ones) can be made at home. My partner feels more motivated when she takes an active role in problem-solving. (((Hugs)))
Bob said on February 8, 2013
Amy, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can resonate to the lack of help, uncertainty of the future, and wishing I did not have so much to have to contend with. I pray that your time comes to be able to focus on your dreams and goals.