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Home > Blogs > Caring for Parents > Caring for Parents and Kids > Things are Going Well…

Things are Going Well…

spring_flowersJust wanted to give an update on how my dear father-in-law, Gpa, is doing…

We have almost reached a month since his admission date to the local care facility.  He is doing well.

The staff there are great and have really taken to him.  They are enjoying his sense of humor, the twinkle in his eye, and his grin.  They are doing their best with his confusion, anxiety, walking out the doors, trying to find the bathroom by going into his neighbors room, sleeping on the floor in the hallway, and his other fun behaviors.  They are really trying to make his adjustment there as smooth as possible and it has worked.  They were very receptive to the inservices about Lewy Body Dementia.

Gpa is doing well. He is still confused, doesn’t know where he is, asks about retirement and what that means, thinks he is working there, etc.  But that was all happening the past several months of his time in our home.  After two years of living here, he was losing his ability to find the bathroom, the front door and did not always recognize his bedroom.  He needed reassurance that he was retired and did not have to be outside working. We are not seeing new behaviors, just the same ones and that is reassuring.

We (my husband, me, and our three children) are adjusting to life without Gpa here in our home. We are missing him.  We are enjoying the freedom of being able to go and do things as a family without figuring out how to bring Gpa along or who will stay home with him.  We are feeling as though things are different…less stressful, less tiptoeing around, less hassle…but also missing him.  We are learning how to stop in and visit him, enjoy our time with him, and not be the caregivers.  We are enjoying being his children and grandchildren, instead of responsible for him every moment.  We are learning to give ourselves permission to work through guilt, anger, disappointment, freedom, excitement, and relief from the burden of caregiving. We are learning to be a family of five again.

God is walking us through every step… He is opening new doors for us and we are trusting Him.

It is fun to see deeper interactions between my kids and Gpa now.  They are more talkative with him, give him more hugs, and love on him more now that he is not here all the time.  They ask to stop to see him.  They ask to bring him back to the house for a few hours.  They want to include him…they did before, but there was also some feelings of resentment before.  Now they feel more free to love on him.

God is good…all the time…

All the time…God is good!

About Aimee

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3 comments

  1. Avatar of Denise

    Aimee–I am sooo glad all is going well. I just love this sentence:

    “We are learning to give ourselves permission to work through guilt, anger, disappointment, freedom, excitement, and relief from the burden of caregiving.”

    This is a wonderful gift you give to your family–the permission to feel the emotions, the good ones and the tough ones, and to move through them.

    I would just add that all of you are still are your father-in-law’s caregivers–you’ve just expanded the team to include the staff at the facility.

    Enjoy today. :)

  2. Avatar of Richard

    Aimee, That is so great to hear you Gpa is adjusting so well to the new place as are your kids. I’ve heard this a lot since my mom’s medical issues started, “You don’t realize what you have until you lose it.” That even goes for when like Fpa you have him there 24/7 then have to move him due to medical reasons and you lose that “All the time” factor. It’s a big adjustment, hang in there your doing great.

  3. Avatar of ejourneys

    Aimee, I love how the relationships within your family have deepened. I agree with Denise — you are all still Gpa’s caregivers; you’ve just expanded your team. That everyone is working together is truly a gift.

    It is a big adjustment. I’m glad you’re being patient and gentle with yourselves. :-)

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