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Home > Blogs > Caring for Spouses > Another Surgery? Probably

Another Surgery? Probably

Winding RoadThis last week has been insane. We finally both looked at each other and said, “Things are calming down.” Then we found out on Tuesday that they will be admitting him to the hospital on Wednesday for another surgery… possibly. Because I’ve put up a little bit of a fight this time around. I want an explanation of what has been done and needs to be done.

Apparently, there is a lot of swelling on his brain, more than usual. He’s been having a lot of memory issues and though it has been weeks since his last seizure (thank goodness), he’s still having weird black-out moments that only last seconds. I believe they are some form of seizure still. His speech is slurred and eyesight is double and blurry. He also has developed this weird habit of repeating himself but he doesn’t know that he’s doing it, which is incredibly scary. So we meet with the neurosurgeon first thing in the morning and they will determine based on that appointment if they proceed.

I am really hoping we can research a medication as an alternative to surgery. I’ve been doing a lot of personal reading and found that a low dose steroid like Prednisone can reduce swelling (it also helps that I work with pharmacists and nurses who are knowledgeable of about such things). But again, I don’t know if there is some reason why they haven’t explored this option. Like maybe it interacts with some of the medications he’s already on. This is why I want more of discussion before we just toss him into surgery. And this time, since it’s neurological, they may have to actually cut open his skull and I remember the last time they did this. He still hasn’t recovered from it.

Other than that, I finally got all my days off from back to January approved and future off time-off pre-approved with my leave of absence department at work. At least that is one issue that isn’t plaguing me at the moment. Yet, today’s news has upset both Marc and myself.

And I get it. It’s very hard for him to be sick, constantly. Six months is a long time for you to be unclear of what is going on and if something that is normally fatal to most people is going to yield the same results for you. He understands that he’s very lucky that we’ve gotten this far and he hasn’t endured most of the things that a normal patient with this disease would. Still, he is extremely frustrated and upset and I don’t even know what to say. At some point I am sure he is tired of hearing me say that everything will be okay and he’s going to be fine after this surgery. But, what can I do? We’ve done the best we can from our ends on making sure he is getting the best care and from here, it’s up to his doctors now. We’re just along for the ride, I suppose.

I do have more people willing to step up and help. And only a few days into our fundraiser we’ve received more donations than I even thought we’d receive. I was sure it’d be nothing in the end. So, I am grateful for every little bit because at this point anything helps.

I’m slowly finding ways to get more organized and the only thing left to do is get some consistent help at home and with transportation and I might just be able to get through this in one piece. Yet, we will see what tomorrow brings.

About Casandra

Avatar of Casandra
Hi! My name is Casandra Porter. I am the wife of, Marc, whom I care for. He suffers from a potential fatal infection that has spread to his brain. Something that is extremely rare. He is a patient of both Mayo Clinic AZ and Stanford University and has many other doctors on consult worldwide. We are a young-ish couple, in our early 30s. Marc is an avid video gamer and the resident comic relief. I am an amateur writer but my main focus is on working with independent artists and writers helping them gain following through social media outlets. I run several blogs. My current project with Marc is a blog called, Running With Sharp ObjectsIt is a blog dedicated to our marital conversations about the most wacky and hilarious topics, mostly pertaining to pop culture. It's a way to keep humor in our lives and bring a little bit to others. We are also setting up a Facebook page for this site where we share inspirational stories, quotes, etc. But, you can always find me right here on Caregiving.com blogging about my life as a Caregiver.

7 comments

  1. Avatar of Richard

    I only have had chronic back pain for 20 years but reading your blogs and more today’s blog, you two are my hero’s. Marx due to the fact of what he is going through and you for standing by him and walking the same path. It’s hard being the caree and in someways harder being the caregiver. You two are amazing. Hang in there “together” and there is nothing you can’t work through. Hang tough, our thoughts and prayers are with you both.

  2. Avatar of Cathy

    Cassandra, I am on the road but want you to know I’m sending my very best thoughts to you and your husband. Am so glad work issues were settled but I know this new news has thrown you both. I hope you get all the answers that you seek. Will be thinking of you. You are doing a remarkable job.

  3. Avatar of Trish

    Casandra, You’re doing great by questioning the necessity of another surgery and finding out all you can about it. It’s tough because you’re not only caring for your husband but working and now you have to educate yourself on his disease & treatment! Know you are not alone – we are here for you.

    I know what you mean about being scared when some neuro symptoms pop up out of the blue. One day, Robert asked me if he could go to “Trish’s House.” When I told him I was Trish he said, “Oh, yeah, I mean my sister.” That’s me – one and the same! :-)

    Keep us posted!

    • Avatar of Casandra

      Thanks Trish,
      I’ve been keeping an eye out on news about Robert. I am praying for his recovery so he can get home soon. Yeah, the neuro symptoms are kind of freaking me out. His personality has changed recently, too. I know all the meds and pain contribute to it but as well, his doctors have confirmed a few things about the neuro changes being related to the infection. Very scary business. New post on everything going on tonight. Glad I have you all here to be able to tell this stuff to.

  4. Avatar of G-J

    Cassandra, you are so wise to question the need for another surgery and to do your own research. I have found that I feel like I have a little bit of control if I have information I can ask the doctor about, like in your case the Prednisone. I think the doctors do give you a little more respect when they see you are also at work on this and not just taking their word for something.

    My brother-in-law is on Prednisone for an unusual auto-immune disease. I would be happy to put you in touch with him if you have any questions he might be able to answer.

    Thinking of you.

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