Sometimes It Just Is
I hate to admit, but if I’m honest with myself, sometimes I feel trapped in my caregiver role. Like if I weren’t here, my sister and brother would have no one. And sometimes I do feel like I wish I could just move away and not care, especially when things seem the worst, and that there’s no end to what’s expected of me. From myself, and from others.
But just as soon as I really start to wallow in those feelings to much degree, I realize that I have gotten help from them at times in my life, too, and from others. Maybe a different type of help – maybe a hug, a piece of advice, ev en a phone call asking for a favor or something, at a time that I just needed to hear someone on the other end of the line. And these are just things that I can think of that I have recognized as help from them. I know that they have helped me so much, more than I know, than I can even begin to tally, if I were to try that. From helping me learn to take my first steps, to helping me with homework, to just their presence when our mom passed away.
I guess what I’m recognizing is that my role as a caregiver is only possible because they have been my caregiver as well from time to time. At this point in my life, I often feel easily overwhelmed by the things I know must be done in my own life, as well as for the care of my siblings. Sometimes I wonder why I’m the “baby” trying to take care of everyone else, especially when I was abused by my brother when I was younger. And at times I let it get the best of me, even feel resentful. When I’m clear in thought and look at the bigger picture, though, I realize that this is a choice I am making it’s because I’ve been cared for that I can now provide care to them. And for that, today, I am thankful.
When I take care of God’s business, He takes care of mine.
- Caring for Your Health as a Caregiver Is Vital (caregiving.com)
- Video Chat Friday: Working and Caregiving (caregiving.com)
- Caregiving Bloopers Part 1: Going Out to Dinner, It’s an Adventure (caregiving.com)