Don't miss:


train_stationMaybe the thought hits when you wake in the morning. Or, when you hear a cough. Or, when the nap seems endless.

Is this it, you can’t help but wonder. Is this the end?

The worry about your caree’s final departure may not be an every-day thought. But, it’s a thought.

We can’t know the time of the last departure, which adds to the anxiety. The departure could be in two weeks or two years or 20 years. But it’s coming.

We know that when the time arrives for the final departure, we can’t buy more time. We can’t request an extra 10 minutes, another hug, a great good-bye.

We don’t get new time, but we do have old time–memories. Our memories keep those who’ve gone alive. The memories comfort us, remind us, lighten us.

So, today, make a great memory. Let go of a resentment. Release the need to be right. Believe that you’re loved. Manage the day’s imperfections with a sense of humor. Hold your tongue when bitterness wants out. Choose what’s important. Decide to let the rest slide. Accept another as he or she is. Live in the moment.  Love without judgment. Listen fully. Stop and pay attention.

In other words, make a memory.

Don’t let the fear of the departure take away today’s chance to make a memory that will be tomorrow’s treasure. The departure will happen. But you’ll arrive with memories.

–Read more comforts here.
–Love our comforts? Then you’ll love Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too, available as books, eBooks and MP3s. Buy here.

About Denise Brown

Avatar of Denise
I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues.


  1. Avatar of MissAngie

    Great Post Denise,

    Some mornings if mom is sleeping too quietly I have a split second where I think she is no longer with us. I also am angry some mornings because I am so tired of the routine.Every day I do these same things. I give mom breakfast,bathe mom,administer meds,answer questions 50 million times and then another 50 million times. I have her put her clothes back on for the fifth time this morning etc..

    This morning as I was giving my mom breakfast I was tempted to just make her oatmeal. Today is my day off and I thought ” I don’t feel like going the extra mile because she wont remember if I gave her a over the top breakfast anyway.” Then I remembered how her face lights up when I give her a big country breakfast like she had when she grew up in Oklahoma on her grandmothers farm. She may not even remember 30 minutes later that she had breakfast, but in the moment she always says”This is just like grandma use to make “.

    The time it takes to make pancakes and scramble a few eggs is nothing compared to making your caree feel special and loved even if it will only be enjoyed for a moment.

  2. Avatar of Pegi

    Beautiful post, Denise. Great suggestions for everyday. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Comment moderation is enabled. Your comment may take some time to appear.