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Graceldoor and the Three Bedrooms: Someone’s Been Sleeping in My Bed

The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-e...As a daughter of a mom with dementia the day-to-day routines for my mom can be a challenge.

Things like finding the right bedroom or knowing that we have two bathrooms in the house.

My husband Shon and I are big Lord Of The Rings fans. Most of the characters have names like Isildor or Galandria, and  other cool Middle Earth names. It never fails that when we are on the couch together my mom Grace comes in just like when we were dating so many years ago. She thinks that the only bathroom is downstairs and forgets about the one that is upstairs next to her room.

The thing is we don’t hear her. It scares the heck out of us. It’s like she floats like the characters in Crouching Tiger. Just floating on cherry blossoms or something.

My husband, who is usually totally immersed into the movie, screams in horror when he realizes she is standing behind the couch staring at us. It does scare me too but he really literally jumps off the couch in fright. Mom just stands there looking like her son-in-law lost his mind and asks him what is wrong. I shouldn’t laugh because it makes him mad, but hey that’s my live entertainment for the evening. I’ll take what I can get

I have now given my mom her own Lord of the Rings name: “Graceldoor.” An elven version of Grace I guess. Lately, besides creating scary moments for Shon and comedic moments for me, she can’t remember where her bedroom is.

One morning I awakened before Shon and I was making my coffee downstairs. He usually does this for me every morning but for some reason I was up early.

I was just going to take my firsts sip of morning coffee when I was startled by a blood curdling yell. It was my husband not my mom. You would have thought that Bigfoot, Chupacabra and la LLorona (Latino legendary monsters, I grew up in San Jose so  those are my references for monsters) were in my house.

I choked on my coffee and ran upstairs. Apparently my mom, whose room is down the hall from ours, had gone to the bathroom and then got into the wrong bed. My husband awakened to see my mom climbing into my side of the bed. She didn’t even see him. I have a huge California King canopy–you almost need a ladder to get in it. Arthritis and all she was managing to get in just as he was turning over to tell me good morning.

The shock and awe expression on his face and the confused look on Mom’s face was too much to put in words but yeah you can imagine. Mom kept apologizing and my husband just sat on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands, shaking his head.

I felt bad for Mom for being so confused and I also felt bad for my hubby for having to  deal with her so early in the morning. That was a For Better or For Worse moment for sure.

Out of all this today I decided to make beautiful signs in primary colors  for Mom’s bedroom and the bathrooms. I don’t ever want her to feel bad about her condition. After all she can’t help it. I just told her they are beautiful memory helpers so she can get around the house without feeling embarrassed. She liked that.

So I put her name on her door today with beautiful floral designs I made in Photoshop and a 3d butterfly from our tooth pick cupcake decorations. (I will share it in our Caregivers Create group.) I also made a sign that says “Bathroom” and points to the bathroom when she comes out of her room.

My husband is obsessed with locking our bedroom door now and I think he is coming up with a secret knock. For now the signs on the doors will do. He’s a trooper for sure.

About MissAngie

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  1. Profile photo of Richard

    MissAngie, Please don’t, stop oh my stomach is aching from the laughter.

  2. Profile photo of Denise

    Oh, my, this makes me laugh for so many reasons. Oh, my gosh, I’ve laughing about this all day.

    I want to meet your mom and your husband. :)

    • Profile photo of MissAngie

      You should interview my husband on the male perspective of care giving. I am sure he and @Richard would have a lot to discuss.

      • Profile photo of Denise

        I had this thought yesterday: Would you and your husband be up for a video chat with Trish and Richard about working together as a team in caregiving? Trish and Richard and I have talked about doing something like this for about an year. :) I think it would be a fantastic discussion.

  3. Profile photo of Pegi

    Way too much, what a hoot! Definately some Kodak moments there. Thanks for the laughs:)

  4. Profile photo of Pegi

    Way too much, what a hoot! Definately some Kodak moments there. Thanks for the laughs:) Love the Middle Earth analogy and name.

  5. Profile photo of ejourneys

    Waaaahahahaha! 😀
    I cracked up at “Just floating on cherry blossoms or something,” even before I got to the pièce de resistance!

    You know about Denise’s new storytelling video series, right? :-)

    My partner belonged to the Tolkien Fellowship decades ago (that and SCA). I read the books way back when, but I don’t know them as intimately as she does. Love the name Graceldoor!

    And I love the term “memory helpers.” Can’t wait to see the door signs!

  6. Profile photo of EllysGdaughter

    Miss Angie, I look forward to your posts and thank you so much for giving me something to laugh with you about! I can’t wait to share this with AwesomeHubby tonight! I have anticipated something like this happening to us but it hasn’t yet!! Please continue to tell your stories, they are so rich with humor – the best kind!

  7. Profile photo of Trish

    Miss Angie, You had me laughing out loud with this! Oh, goodness – thankfully, I saved this for yesterday when I had a full (and stressful) day of Robert-related appointments. Just what I needed. :-)

    We should definitely do an interview together on co-caregiving as @Denise suggests. Let’s do it!


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