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Home > Blogs > Caring for Siblings > Kindness – Every Little Bit Helps

Kindness – Every Little Bit Helps

It is sometimes difficult to believe in the goodness of the human race when there is such evil, violence and despicable acts splashed across most news sites.

It can be difficult to see the goodness even for a Pollyanna like me, especially if I’m feeling under the weather – which I am due to a dental implant gone wrong.  As my daughter succinctly pointed out, I have become one of “those” stories – the horror stories people repeat to each other about medical procedures gone as wrong as you can imagine.

A wonderful memory of mom

A wonderful memory of mom

Here I am on pain medication and antibiotics with a raging infection in my mouth, swelling in my jaw and on a forced diet because I can only open my mouth wide enough to fit in the tiniest bits of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (on the softest bread possible and absolutely no crust because even that is hard to chew).

I guess pizza is a bad idea for dinner tonight.

I’m trying to get some work done from home today but it’s difficult to avoid the news.  The situation in Ohio is nothing short of horrific which is one reason we want to crown a hero.  People want to balance out the evil – let’s see some good!  Yay!  The women were saved by someone not afraid to get involved and not willing to ignore screaming from the neighbor’s house.   We have a hero!

Then, for some odd reason, we want to dig up all the dirt possible on this man.

Guess what?  People are not perfect.  People make mistakes – big mistakes (and, believe me, spousal abuse is a big mistake).  These mistakes cannot define a person, however.  These are pieces of a person’s life – some good, some really awful.

I really don’t know anything about Charles Ramsey other than he, along with Angel Cordero, is credited with helping Amanda Berry escape her tormentor.  That is kindness.  Their efforts go a long way toward restoring our faith in the goodness of humans.  Maybe it even helps him make peace with his past mistakes.

It’s such a simple concept: Be kind.  Spread kindness.  Do something kind for someone.  It doesn’t have to be huge because the ripples of kindness go beyond what we can even imagine.

I believe people want to be kind.  Everyone wants to make a difference – to have an impact and to find a purpose to being here.  When my mom was dying of liver cancer, she struggled to know what her purpose had been.  She wasn’t famous or even outgoing but she was kind.  While she wondered what her purpose was, she tipped the cashier at the McDonald’s drive-thru.   She packed a bag full of groceries out of her cupboards when her daughter was struggling as a single mom.  She even threw in a box of dryer sheets because her daughter thought it was too extravagant to spend $3.50 on dryer sheets when every penny counted.

Throughout her life, Mom had also been depressed, suicidal and drank too much boxed wine.

None of these pieces of her solely defined her.  She was made up of kindness and a complicated life and poor coping skills.  In the end, it was her kindness that won out.

We visited her favorite beach before she died and she made friends with a small boy who decided Mom was the one person on the entire beach he wanted to share his starfish with.  She spent time with him and made that moment on the beach memorable for me, watching my mom exude kindness.   Who knows how that kindness rippled through the boy’s life (or mine)?

These small bits of kindness add up and make it easier to believe in the goodness of people.

Let’s find the goodness and kindness in ourselves and share it with the world.  Even in bits as small as my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Happy Mother’s Day, mom!  Your kindness is missed.

About Trish

Avatar of Trish
I am Robert’s older sister and a freelance writer and am also a full-time Legal Administrator for a wonderful law firm (no, that is not an oxymoron). I am the caregiver for my youngest brother, Robert, who has suffered from uncontrolled epilepsy his entire life. In his late-40s now, he lives with me and my husband. I have somehow managed to navigate the maze of social services and government programs available to help Robert and continue to be amazed at the amount of time and persistence that is needed to do so. Robert finds happiness in simple pleasures like doing word search puzzles and watching his favorite shows (Family Feud and Jeopardy, of course!)

7 comments

  1. Avatar of Pegi

    Trish, so sorry to hear of your dental disaster. Hope you are able to resolve it soon. This is a beautiful blog. I am a great believer in “random acts of kindness”. It’s so easy to do something or say something kind to a person in need. Your insight on the legacy of your Mother, brought me near tears. I’m with you all the way on the goodness and kindness in ourselves and most other. You state it all so eloquently. Have a Happy Mother’s day weekend yourself@

  2. Avatar of Trish

    Pegi, This experience will henceforth be called my “Dental Disaster.” That pretty much sums it up. :-) It is no surprise to me that you are a believer in random acts of kindness and I would bet money (or dental implants) that the majority (if not all) of people on this site feel the same way. I hope you have a lovely Mother’s day as well and know that it will be a difficult one for you. I hope you have many warm memories to see you through. I’ll be thinking of you. <3

  3. Avatar of G-J

    Trish,

    Thank you for sharing the stories of your mom’s kindness toward others. What a thoughtful person! I love the picture you shared as well.

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your Dental Disaster! That sounds awful. Any idea how soon you’ll feel better? Remember that chocolate mousse is a soft food! :)

    Happy Mother’s Day, Trish!

  4. Avatar of

    Gee Trish sounds like you have a very sore mouth. And I a, hoping your on the mend. Kindness is about putting yourself in someone elses shoes, and doing something to alleviate a problem. I am a caregiver for my husband, and the week before last we had a 18inch dumping of heavy wet snow. I have a herniated disk in my back from lifting so much and 2 arthritic knees that are not too good either.My neighbor came over in the morning and shoveled my walks for me so I could save my back. That meant more to me than you can know. Its the little things we do for others that warms their hearts and helps them on their way.

  5. Avatar of ejourneys

    Trish, I am so sorry about the Dental Disaster (it was not noticeable to me at all during yesterday’s video chat or when I listened to you on Table Talk today). I hope it heals fast and well. Kudos to you for taking good care of yourself in addition to everything and everyone else!

    I love this post. As Kurt Vonnegut wrote, “[D]amn it, you’ve got to be kind.” That pretty much sums it up for me, too. And that’s a wonderful legacy your mom left to you and to everyone her kindness touched.

    Happy Mother’s Day! (((Hugs)))

  6. Avatar of EllysGdaughter

    Oh, Trisha, you looked so good yesterday and I had a wonderful time sharing with you on the hangout but had no idea you were in pain! My Awesome Hubby has an implant that is healing and my son has had one but never have I – my prayers are for some great healing for your mouth! Thank you so much for the story about your mom, I can’t think of any stories of my mom’s kindnesses so it’s wonderful to hear yours! Happy Mother’s Day!

  7. Avatar of Denise

    Hi–I learned that hard way that the best question to ask myself is often, How can I be kind? Because the kind way is the one I’ll feel good about later. And the kindness from others is what keeps me feeling good.

    Thank you for your kindness. :)

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