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Home > Blogs > Caring for Parents > Can You Prepare for the Unknown? How?

Can You Prepare for the Unknown? How?

imageBig question and I’m not sure if it is able to be answered but I would appreciate any help.

How do you prepare for the unknown?

With Mom, she’s had so many things happen in such a short period of time (three years), it has to be taking a toll on her body not to mention her heart with all the excess fluid she is retaining. The issue there is, your kidneys want fluids however your heart doesn’t. When your kidneys are only working at only 45 to 50% of normal, you can’t get rid of the fluid quick enough and it the backs up around your heart and lungs, making it harder to breath.

That’s just the main issue. Mom has many other medium to small issues which affect the main issue and “ANY” new medicine can conflict with the (12-15) others she takes and put her in the hospital.

So back to the original question: How do you prepare for the unknown? Can you prepare for the unknown?

About Richard

Avatar of Richard
My name is Richard (@kreisr1), I am a partial caregiver to my mother who has COPD among other health issues.  I am also a co-caregiver for my brother in-law who has had epilepsy his entire life and now after living alone, in a care facility and a group home setting we had to move him in with us to provide him with the care he needs.  Finally, with my wife who is also my co-caregiver I care for myself, I have had chronic pain (mid-low back) for 21-1/2 years thanks to a drunk driver.  I write my own blog, pickyourpain.org where I share my pain with humor, as I see thing, "Pain Without Humor is Just Painful."  I am involved with caregiving.com in several ways, as well as participating in several of the weekly caregiving.com blogs, I also am involved in their Twitter chats, I also host the following groups, SPOT (Stamp Procrastination Out Today), A Task A Day, The Men's Group, Healthy Caregiver and several others.  I am also the moderator for the Caregiving.com Quiz Show and have a seat on the bi-monthly Hot Topic's show. I'm here to not only improve Roberts life, the lives of those I touch on caregiving.com and pickyourpain.org but to find a way to improve my own live.

2 comments

  1. Avatar of Denise

    Hi Richard–I believe what we all are doing is preparing for the known–the end of life. We all know that we all will participate in death so we prepare for it by making good decisions today about how we’ll spend our last days.

    My suggestion with your mom is to continue your conversations with her about what she wants. Ask her about her goals for this week, this month and this year. Ask her if she has long-term care goals.

    Talk before her doctor’s appointments about her goals for the appointment. When the doctor makes a recommendation, ask the doctor about the impact of the medications on your mom’s quality of life and on her goals for her days. Then, talk to your mom about what she wants. Maybe she wants to take the risk of trying a new med. Maybe not.

    It’s all a process. You and your mom (and other family members) are in the middle of the process of making decisions as you go. You support your mom as she makes decisions based on information you both gather today and based on what your mom wants today. Decisions adjust and change as the information and your mom’s wishes change.

    Every day, we have a chance to prepare for what’s known. :)

  2. Avatar of Richard

    Denise, Thank you for the abundance of information and suggestions. I will be using a lot of your suggestions at the next coffee meet me and mom have. Thank you for your time.

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