Double Dementia Paradox
Anyone read Dutch? Looks like dementia has been a paradox since at least 1911. No wonder I’m having a hard time with both parents struggling with this nasty disease.
Today Mom woke up drenched in pee and Dad had her get dressed to go out before having a shower. He wanted to take her out, but the home health worker was coming in about five minutes. Why couldn’t he wait? I asked for a little cash and feel like I’m abusing Dad, but I’m here, I’m loving them, I’m not leaving Mom alone, I’m encouraging Mom to bathe, and I’m calling social workers, asking for help even though I’m scared.
As soon as my father gave me twenty bucks he yelled at me and said, “Aren’t you looking for a job?” Uh, yes Dad. At that point I imploded and thought, “I’m here,” etc. “I’m dealing with divorce and disability claims and getting up every day despite depression. Isn’t that enough?” Then I couldn’t really enjoy the Market.
I wonder why our parents affect us so viscerally, no matter our age or why my father seems to like other people more than me or my Mom, why he seems to give so unconditionally to others and not to his family. I really need my virtual cheering squad more than ever right now in dealing with this double dementia paradox. I feel like I’m in the self-checkout lane at Safeway, hearing that voice that says, “Unexpected item left, please check … Unexpected item left, please check … Unexpected item left, please check …”
- Hiding (caregiving.com)
- Did I Eat That? (caregiving.com)
- Dementia Care: How Do I Handle the Caree’s Anger and Frustration? (caregiving.com)
- Dementia Care: How Do You Make It? (caregiving.com)
- Stillness (caregiving.com)
- Starting (caregiving.com)
- Caring for Parents Part 4 (Climbing Mountains) (caregiving.com)
- Who Speaks for the Speechless? (caregiving.com)
- Caregiving Bloopers: George Michael and Graceldoor Return to the 80′s (caregiving.com)