Mom’s Shopping Trips, Just Because….

walletMy mom is very keen on when her monthly check comes in. I get excited anticipating her excitement. My husband and I have always done our best to do outings with her and to make sure she has money in her wallet, just because. :-)

My family can’t seem to understand why we continue to give her money for her wallet because “she never really goes anywhere.” Just because…. She gets excited and happy just knowing that she HAS her own money. Even if it’s $1.00, she’s happy! “Why do you guys take her to buy the same thing over and over again? Well just because! She’s happy with a million new washcloths, 10 million towels. (I exaggerate, but she has A LOT). My husband and I find joy in her happiness at the store when she grabs what she wants and whatever she can fit in her arm on her lap. :-)

So for August, our shopping trip is for…. sweaters. lol! “Mom, you have a ton of sweaters!” To that my mom replies, “Can I get the ones with flowers on them?” Ooook. :-) Please don’t misunderstand, we are far from being well-off. We do continue with our financial struggles, but it’s not her fault that she’s in the state that she’s in right?!?! Even when none of her incontinent supplies and medication etc. were covered by insurance, we always made sure she had something!

Sometimes I feel like the bad days outweigh the good days by a whole lot. :-( But  it’s great days like that, that make it all worth it!

Have a great day/evening my Caregiving.com family!

11 thoughts on “Mom’s Shopping Trips, Just Because….

  1. Avatar of BobinMOBobinMO

    Shopping therapy is something we all use occasionally. When we’re talking about inexpensive items such as washcloths, how much better can it get? What I love about you example is we’re talking about inexpensive joy, not reckless abandonment with some credit cards just so we’ll feel better for a moment or two. Endorphin hits are just as easy to attain at the Dollar Store as they are at Nieman Marcus except you’re not in tears once the statement arrives in the mail.

    My wife likes to have cash on her too even though she doesn’t have anywhere to spend it. I did get her a credit card I can keep track of so she’ll always have spending money on her for situations like luncheons out with ex-coworkers. Odd how adding just a $10 bill to their stash can make them so happy. It also makes our lives a lot stressful. I just love the way you’re handling this :)

    By the way, we all have our months when there’s more outgo than income. I’ve found the trick is in keeping a VERY close on things so our budget doesn’t get out of control. My general rule of thumb is I never charge anything that doesn’t earn its keep such as a refrigerator or a worn out computer. I also demand a deal like 0% interest for 12, 18, or 36 months thus I’m getting paid money for simply shopping at whatever store that’s offering me an even better value. Using lines of credit is often smart money management. Once the banks own us, it’s time for some lifestyle adjustments. I’ve not only earned one t-shirt – I’ve got a whole drawer, but I still learned them the hard way. Now please excuse me while I lick my wounds over the $5,000 A/C we just had to replace out. Thank goodness we don’t need new tires.

    Reply
    • Avatar of atisMOMatisMOM Post author

      Thank you BobinMO! This brought a happy “mist” to my eyes! I totally agree, the simplest things that brings joy to her just warms our hearts! Seeing her sense of independency when she’s able to take out her own money and pay for things is priceless. Then it’s “Ok, I’ll buy $1 ice creams for everyone!” Hahaha…. And 5k A/C?!?! Niiiice lol…. I prefer being cool rather than warm. Which is ironic being that I was born and raised in Hawaii lol. But that A/C sounds like heaven to me! Happy wounds healing:-)

  2. Avatar of RichardRichard

    Robert is the same, he is happy having $1, $5 or $10 in his wallet, as you stated just having it is all it takes. Robert is just like everyone else and has a need to go shopping once in awhile. It get him out of the house, he’s thinking about what he wants and get his brain active. When we go out to dinner he gets a kick reading the menu to decide what he wants, even though we know what he wants but he may surprise us one time. I think its great when out shopping and I ask Robert if he wants a Starbucks and even when I make him order his own drink and the grin he get when the Barista (can you tell where we get coffee?) interacts with him and is asking him questions, it’s great.

    • Avatar of atisMOMatisMOM Post author

      I hear you Richard! During shopping trips it’s gratifying to see my mom smile and wave at strangers. Sometimes it shocks them! And yes, getting her out of the house is always therapeutic…. especially shopping therapy vs. Dr.’s appointments;-)

    • Avatar of BobinMOBobinMO

      There’s got to be something illegal in those Starbucks Frappuccio bottles. They’re WAY to good. At a $1.75 per small bottle these things are a bit steep. Then I found iced coffee in the half gallon carton that’s only $2.50 – $3.50 per with a coupon. Though the cheaper option isn’t “quite” as good, 95% perfect is good enough for me:) I’m also not battling the guilt complex near as bad.

      Reply
  3. Avatar of PegiPegi

    What a beautiful blog! If you can’t spoil your Mother, who can you spoil? Thanks for sharing, I’m still grinning envisioning her on her shopping trip. Did she get a sweater with flowers?

    • Avatar of atisMOMatisMOM Post author

      Hi Pegi! Shopping for her sweater with flowers is set for this Sunday! She’s already reminding me daily with her countdown…. “Today is Wednesday, Sunday we buy my sweater?” lol.

  4. Rebecca

    I’m the caregiver for my mom as well and I couldn’t agree with your post more. It’s hard. It’s hard trying to work everything into my own schedule and taking on hers as well——. You know. But I say the same thing. My mom didn’t ask for this. If I can’t show compassion, what kind of person have I become.

    I had someone ask me why I took her grocery shopping and let her buy more than she needs. My response was much like yours. Why not? It’s all she looks forward to, really. So what if her cupboards are full?

    I don’t have the money issue. My mom’s finances are good. But if she did, I would do as you are doing. It was so good to hear someone else is feeling the same way. God Bless you.

    Reply
    • Avatar of atisMOMatisMOM Post author

      Rebecca….
      God bless you too! This is why I love this site! It feels so good to have someone aside from my husband who truly understands! Getting teary eyed here just feeling content and comforted….

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