I read this quote from a teenage photographer whose work was featured in a Harlem museum exhibit I saw on Sunday. Here’s what I see in his photograph, whether it’s there or not:
The room of a sick person…Bill stacking up…Medicine…A caregiver…Distracted boredom…A son behind the camera, choosing to appreciate the moment
Today is a frustrating day. I want to fix Grandma’s pain, keep her from sleeping so much, get her to eat more.
I want to be smart enough to figure out:
-which advice is right
-which medicine is best
-which tone of voice I should take
-which food I should give her
-how worried I should be
A nurse called me today. She helped me navigate all of the above questions. She sometimes said, “I just don’t know.” I appreciated that. She said, “You are not in control of her. You can’t fix everything.”
Sometimes I believe the opposite.
A quote from Charles Spurgeon:
What, if for a while thou art called to stand still, yet this is but to renew thy strength for some greater advance in due time. Precipitancy cries, “do something. Stir yourself; to stand still and wait, is sheer idleness.” We must be doing something at once–we must do it so we think–instead of looking to the Lord, who will not only do something but will do everything.”
I think that Arnell’s already got it figured out. Can I value stillness today rather than movement (i.e. my phone calls, my solutions, my routine)? Can I wait for the salvation of the Lord in the context of my grandmother’s care, even if that means:
-another day of pain
-another day of helplessness
-another day of trusting
We’ll find out.