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When the Lights Go Out, What Do You Worry About?

cartoon-bed-mdI spoke yesterday with Christine from a website called CaregiverAccess. During the conversation, Christine mentioned a great question to ask family caregivers:

When the lights go out, what do you worry about?

Meaning, when the day is done, when the action stops, when it’s you and your own thoughts, what worry settles in?

I’d love to know your answers to this question. Please share your worries in our comments section, below. I’ll choose a random winner to receive audio copies of Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too. With these MP3s, you can bring my words of comfort with you wherever you need them–the car, the doctor’s house, your house.

So, when the lights go out, as you lay your head on your pillow, what worries creep in?

About Denise Brown

Avatar of Denise
I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues.


  1. At night, after I would hear my husband’s breathing deepen with a little snoring to top it off, I’d lay there for another 1/2 hour (on a good night). It was the only “free time” I’d have all day. After I reviewed the practical issues I was facing, I’d then drift off into thinking about my future. What would happen to me? Who would I be without my Caregiving or even without my husband? It had been so many years of being in a couple (20 to be exact) of then being a Caregiver (8 in total) and I was forgetting who I was and what I wanted for my life. Night time was the review time…..I’d think about my music, my relationships with friends, dreams I put on hold and my family. Some thoughts were sad and others inspired me to get up the next day and improve my lot. I tried not to dwell on what I was losing but rather on what was next and could I make it any better?

  2. Avatar of ejourneys

    I don’t. Or at least, not lately.
    I never know when my partner will come up with a new “theory” to regale me with, or engage in a behavior that is unsafe and that will spur me to action. I never know when she’ll panic about something and want to go to the ER, or if something more serious will send her to the ER. During quiet times I’m just happy to collapse and snooze because I know I won’t be able to when crisis mode hits. Then I have very specific worries depending on what the crisis is and I lie awake trying to brainstorm a solution(s).

  3. Avatar of Richard

    When the lights go out what creeps in is several things ranging from is this the night I get a call from the hospital’s Emergency Room (ER) that my mom either drove herself in or was taken in by ambulance with major breathing issues or heart failure. Yes, my mom has been know to drive herself to the ER slumped over in pain, having a hard time breathing or with the feeling of a weight sitting on her chest. Other thoughts that creep in are, is this the night Robert has an phneumoia attack that places him in the hospital for an extended visit (more than a week) that puts stress on Trish in general and with work, even though they are flexible I’m sure it puts some extra stress on her. Both of these concerns also put extra stress, increased pain levels, changes in emotional well being, to name only a few. If we can control, I mean reduce the number of times they are admitted to the hospital or even, sit in the ER the better of it is for all of us. Where as Trish does not have a medical issue when either of the two get admitted that usually elevates my back issues which then elevates the issues between the one fit person in the home me and possibly our caree. So here’s to meditation and the power of OM. Namaste’ / : ^{ ) >

  4. Avatar of

    money usually. and to ease the worry, I pray then sleep.

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