Birthday Celebration: Forgive

forgive_0Every day this week, we’re celebrating CareGiving.com’s 17th birthday with activities and prizes, including a grand prize of $300. We’re mingling our birthday celebration with our ability to disrupt.

Today, we’re breaking to disrupt our life with forgiveness.

I think we all carry a regret or a shame. Maybe it’s not something we think about every day or every week, but once in awhile, the memory comes up. And, we can feel that memory begin to control who we are. The memory haunts, belittles, controls. It’s awful.

So, today, let’s forgive ourselves for what we we wish we would have done differently or better or not at all. Let’s disrupt our lives by being to kind to ourselves, by realizing we’re doing the best we can and by letting a second chance, rather than a past regret, rule our day.

Here’s mine: I’m going to forgive myself for the path of my life, which I’m doing the best to follow but sometimes wonder how I got to where I am. And, often, where I am seems to simply be revisiting where I was. So, I want to forgive myself for what hasn’t worked in my life, for having to make difficult adjustments in order to be able to keep going, and for the hopes I have which have yet to materialize. Because I forgive myself, I can be in myself in the world and, most important, I can be in my life without apologies.

Then, share how you had fun in our comments section, below. When you post a comment here, you’ll be entered into a chance to win one of our daily prizes and one of our grand prizes. To win a daily prize and/or a grand prize, you must be a family caregiver, a member of CareGiving.com and participate in one of our daily disrupt activities. Not a member of CareGiving.com? It’s easy and free to join; just go here.

Today, let’s let forgiveness change our life.

Congrats to the winners of yesterday’s daily prizes:
@donna won a copy of @ejourney’s eBook, Caregiving in Five Lines;
@thpurplejacket won copy of our eBook, An Anthology: Help, Comedy, Forgiveness, Gifts, which features the stories of family caregivers;
@trish won Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too, the MP3s, audio versions (in my voice) of my books, Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too.

Look for an email this afternoon with your win.

Resources
Learn about our week-long birthday celebration, including our eligibility requirements to win the daily and grand prizes, here.

Reminders
Be sure to share what caregiving is like for you in our annual family caregiver survey. Take our survey here. Please ask other family caregivers you know to complete the survey, too. (Thank you!!)

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14 Comments on "Birthday Celebration: Forgive"


Profile photo of Jane
Member
Aug 7, 2013

I have a forgiveness like Denise’s. I tend to harbor a lot of unforgiveness toward myself. I am not where I thought I would be in my life… I don’t know exactly where I thought I would be but I just know I am not there. I don’t feel that my hopes and the goals that I have are being fruitful. I don’t seem to have peace, contentment or what feels like gratitude (because I am never happy with what I have). I will try to forgive myself for choices that I have made recently with our finances that were mistakes that I hope I will be able to compensate for by tightening our belts because I am always looking for something that will make me feel better about myself which I know I have to find within myself and not what someone else has done. I can’t seem to forgive myself for not doing what I need to do so I can have all the things that I so deserve in my life because I don’t do what needs to be done to get them. Some of this may be from not believing that even if I do I won’t have them.

I hope by forgiving myself and by not waiting for motivation or when…this happens (I lose 20 pounds, Nicole is healthy, etc.) and just doing what I know needs to be done I will start to feel better about myself and my life and that will help with how I feel about myself for all the stupid choices I make.

Hugs:o)
Jane

Profile photo of Richard
Member
Aug 7, 2013

How can one forgive themselves when one is unable to be the father or mother, the husband or wife, the friend, or the family member that they should be or were ment to be when they are unable to do the things that is needed to be honored with those titles. How, is by forgiving myselve and acknowledging that it was not my fault to begin with and that even though I am limited in various areas of being a father and husband that to this point I have done my best with the abilities I have and I have done every bit of it with as much love, honor, respect and honesty I can. I apologize to my family and hope they will forgive my as I have to forgive myself for the anger, hostility, pain and stress and the other hard times I have put them through. This was never the life I wanted for them none the less for myself. Richard I am truly sorry.

Profile photo of Chris
Member
Aug 7, 2013

Shame is a feeling that should be removed from our pshyce, easier said than done. I’ve learned over the past year that the shame I feel at times is often related to something that was said, or done to me that was out of my control. I can’t control what others say or do, but I can control how I feel about what others say or do to me. Feeling shame is unhealthy, but sometimes unavoidable. Today, I am going to forgive those who have made me feel shame and forgive myself for dwelling on things that I cannot control. For it is in the forgiveness where we through shame to the wayside

Profile photo of Chris
Member
Aug 7, 2013

Oops:Correction above ‘throw shame to the wayside’

Profile photo of Bridget
Member
Aug 7, 2013

For a long time I have wondered if I did the right thing when my mother in law was in hospice. When she started to get anxiety and jump out of the bed they decided she needed something for the anxiety. I thought that it really worked however when it wore off we would have to orally give it to her again after she would try to flee the bed again. I decided that they need to add it to her pump so that she would not hurt herself. After they did that all she did was sleep and never really had any meaningful conversations. Her long lost son decided to come and make peace with her 2 weeks after that and she was not awake to talk with him. I blamed myself for this and still try to continue to let this go. I pray that I did not cause her to miss this blessing because I honestly thought that I was doing what was best for her at the time. So today I will again lay this at the foot of Jesus so that I can be happier and healthier.

Profile photo of Trish
Member
Aug 7, 2013

Like others here, I need to forgive myself. I become impatient when I’m stresssed or tired or doing too much and then snap or act in a way I regret. Then I feel terrible which stresses me out – a terrible, circle!