Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear
Mike went through a rough period in the last year or so where he seemed to be stuck in a rut. He didn’t want to do anything, it seemed like it was just easier to not challenge himself. When I asked why he didn’t want to do something the response was, “I’m disabled, I can’t do that” or “My legs don’t work like they used to.” If you think of an excuse I’m sure he used it. It was hard to watch him go through this. No matter how many times I suggested something, I was turned down and he shut down. He eventually came through this and knows what to do when he feels him sinking back in to that rut.
When we were on our trip last week, we met up with a guy that Mike used to work with and his fiancee. Three years ago this coming winter, Chris was in a terrible truck accident where it seemed he broke every bone from the neck down. The result of this is a fused spine and a paralyzed left leg. His fiancee and I have talked over the years about the changes that occur in your life when you become a caregiver and I think she is an amazing young lady. She supports Chris and pushes him when he needs it, but we noticed on this trip that it seemed like Chris had fallen in to the rut that Mike had climbed out of. He didn’t want to do anything and seemed to have a million and one excuses as to why he couldn’t do it. Some where in the four days we spent together I think Mike saw himself in Chris and I think he finally realized that self destructing behaviour is the worst thing to participate in.
During a number of the conversations the boys had, the topic of change came up and Mike explained to Chris that just because things have changed drastically, it doesn’t mean that the changes are a bad thing. You can still do all the things you want, you just have to approach things from a different way. Somehow that resulted in Chris going white water rafting with his fiancee and parents… Did I mention besides the paralysis, Chris can’t swim? Ahh, the power of peer pressure.
On the way home, we talked about how we all feel alone on this part of the journey, but we never really are. Sometimes we have those walking beside us or walking right behind us, and just like the warning on your side view mirror: Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
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- When No Doesn’t Work (caregiving.com)
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- Days of Future Passed (caregiving.com)