When You Wish Upon A Star…
There was a time life was simple. You basically knew what to expect from the day, even as adults. We had routines: get up, go to work, and come home have dinner together on the patio poolside. It was comfortable, it was pleasant. Maybe a trip to the beach on the weekend, or out to dinner with family orfriends. Our son and his wife lived two doors down and were constantly in and out. Nothing over the top, nothing extraordinary. By now we were middle aged and we were happy with our lives. Together, we had overcome some major obstacles. We were ready to sit back and just enjoy each other, our “children,” family and friends.
Where did all this begin? We didn’t see it coming. We certainly weren’t prepared and yet it was upon us. My husband’s slow and steady decline in health. One diagnosis after another; one major surgery after the other. We adapted, we made changes. For a decade we could still pretend life was normal, we were fortunate that way. After last year’s spinal cord surgery, it has been one thing after the other. Now, wheelchair bound, his health is declining more rapidly.
The month of July he spent every other week in the hospital. This makes the third hospital stay in six months. It’s never been this insane. Each time he goes it’s something new, exacerbated by his existing chronic illnesses.
We had a brief period of time in May and June when he was feeling good, he had accepted the wheels. We went out exploring our new neighborhood, went for lunch on the beach, went shopping and to touristy things. Almost like the “good old days.” Just when we were in that period of calm and some happy days, Bam! it hits again, then again, then again.
My husband is a kind, happy man. Ask anyone who knows him. Now, not so much. We live in fear of the next episode. He hasn’t felt really well in weeks. He’s losing his naturally good spirit. He’s anxious; he never worries, that’s my job. It breaks my heart, I’m helpless to do anything but try and keep him safe and as happy as possible. Not an easy job at this juncture. That’s how it is, for now.
“If your heart is in your dream, No request is too extreme…” I’m going to wish for some calm, some peace, and some joy for us and for all of you wonderful Caregivers.
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