His eyes widened, “You gotta be kidding me!”
No I wasn’t kidding. In that two plus years he has had eight weeks of vacation from his job. In the same time I have had exactly two days off. Hospitalizations don’t count as far as I’m concerned! For the last two years Mom (with the help of daughter #1 – who helped plan, book and then stay with her grandmother) has given us a “Night out on the Town.” Don’t get me wrong, we had a blast, but two overnights out of almost three years of 24/7 care isn’t a lot.
Time to actually plan a vacation where Hubby and I can have more than 24 hours alone together.
So I began planning my respite. We have hired an agency who will supply a live-in caretaker for the week. It ain’t cheap as they say, but if I sent her to a nursing home in a respite bed it would cost as much if not more and she would be miserable. So here goes. Letting go. Can they do it right, make her happy, keep her clean, fed, safe? Boy, I sure didn’t know I was such a control freak! And a stranger sleeping in my bed, roaming my house…wow. Everywhere I look I see my inadequacies. The silverware drawer is filthy, what will this person think? The refrigerator could be cleaner, what will this person think? But… I am taking a deep breath. I need the time off. I need it so I can be a better caregiver. I need it so I can do it again. We need it. 42 years of marriage needs it. We need to sit side by side looking at the ocean; reading, playing cribbage or Yatzee, just being together.
We are going a week from Monday. It can’t come fast enough, but it is coming too quickly. Do I have all her meds, is her schedule written out, do I have all the contact numbers they might need? This person, whom I haven’t yet met, is coming a day early to follow me around, learn the routines. That is a good thing, I just hope we like her. When we go, should I call, see how she is? Should I have them call me? Have her call me? There, I’m doing it again. You know what? It is only six days. We leave on Monday around noon and return on Saturday. Mom can live though that, heck, at 93 she has lived through surgery, rehab, a fractured pelvis and then more rehab. Of course she can.
So can I.
- Loneliness, Depression and Caregiving (caregiving.com)
- Vacation Was Good (caregiving.com)
- And the Award Goes to… (caregiving.com)
- When You Are Toast, Eight Tips to Heal the Burn (caregiving.com)
- Taking Vacations, Hallucinations, Dealing in General (caregiving.com)
- A Gift From God (caregiving.com)
- If You Can Go, Then Go! (caregiving.com)
- The Juggling Caregiver (caregiving.com)