55 Miles an Hour and then Bam!

yellow_flagMy Grandma, Elly, has always been a “worker bee”. She never chose to drive a car but could pilot you around town, California, or across the country to SE Canada. This week, Elly has been pushing along with her swollen legs and we’ve seen improvement as they have gone down to normal. The pain still tarries in those scarred legs but now she doesn’t say much other than, “I don’t have any starch left”. So, I feel like we’ve gone from 55 miles an hour, pretty good for 93 years old, to maybe five miles or less a day.

At Friday’s check up with the doctor we learned her kidneys were at 18% function from the test a week ago. Her main complaint was leg pain, itching and rash still on her arms and legs. Since we got home from the doctor appointment on Friday she’s been lying down. She has taken very little food or drink. She only drank about 6 oz of tonic water with lime which gave her a 30 minute boost to sit up in her chair. On Saturday, she slept on the couch all morning refused tonic water, then had a little soup and slept in her bed until Sunday morning. She got up very few times that I know of.

My in-laws were here for dinner Saturday and they kept begging me to check on her. AH and I explained that Elly is a very private person and we respect that. If she has passed, then we will deal with that but unless she cries out or presses her Life Alert, she really wants to be by herself. It was hard for them to understand but they accepted that. This philosophy does go against what our hearts say to do as caregivers but this is how our Grandma wants to live. I won’t cajole or nag. I did offer some soft scrambled egg and applesauce this morning (Sunday) so Elly did eat a little so far. She felt like eating some lunch at about 2 p.m. Her fluid intake is still pretty low.

My next step is to go to visit the doctor’s office and give an update on Elly and ask when Hospice Care would be appropriate. We want to keep her comfortable but she isn’t receiving my attempts at this point. This could be just temporary or the way things will go till the end. We are doing well so far.

8 thoughts on “55 Miles an Hour and then Bam!

  1. Avatar of DeniseDenise

    Oh, EG, I think you are doing all the right things. I love how you let Elly’s perspective guide you now. It’s a gift when we can leave our life as we lived it. And, I’m so glad you will ask about Hospice.

    Thanks so much for keeping us posted. Let us know what happens when you stop by the doctor’s office.

    • Avatar of EllysGdaughterEllysGdaughter Post author

      Looks like Elly is back to more normal activites! She was up this morning and made coffee. Her poor hair was such a mess, the hairdresser is tied up with family emergency this week or else I would call her! I expect that my lunch will be waiting for me when I get home from work. . . oh well, I did get a little break this weekend!

  2. Avatar of ThedogmamaThedogmama

    Hi EG. How strong you are to be able to withstand the exterior and interior pressure of trying to “help”. It can be so hard to respect the privacy and wishes of our loved ones when we want to jump right in and make things better (maybe for us?). Elly is so blessed to have you in her life. I hope I can be as strong. Hugs to you.

    • Avatar of EllysGdaughterEllysGdaughter Post author

      Oh, TDM, you are soo right in sometimes it would make me feel better if I could do certain things for Elly. It’s been hard to keep that instinct at bay during these times! Thank you! I’ll be there for you when Strong is needed!

  3. Cathy Mitchell

    Your bravery shines through, EG. As I sit here at my aunt’son my weekly overnight(s) visit I wonder if I can have your bravery when we are there.

  4. Avatar of PegiPegi

    EG, you should be so very proud of yourself. It’s so difficult to let our loved ones just be when we want so badly to do or at least hover. it’s beautiful the way you are able to respect her wishes. Its so important to let our loved ones, especially the elder ones to have whatever control they need. She needs to preserve some dignity and has certainly earned to right of respect. You are so wonderful with her! So happy Elly’s back to normal today! Who knows what’s next when you have an “energizer bunny”; mine surprised us many times! God Bless you and yours.

  5. Avatar of ejourneysejourneys

    EG, I echo what everyone else has said. Kudos to you and AH for following Elly’s lead, and to your in-laws for deferring to you. It’s a roller coaster ride for sure, and you are securely strapped into the seat. I’m very glad Elly’s been feeling better. (((Hugs)))

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