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What Constitutes An Emergency?

angry_phone_callSo, today we get a phone call from scheduling and after I’ve already discussed that I want the surgery to be scheduled after Thanksgiving they are telling us that November 22nd is when the doctors want it because it is a life or death situation and the sooner the better.

EXCUSE ME? Am I misunderstanding something?

I know this is a life or death situation. It has been since Sept 11, 2012 when ALL OF THIS began but you are waiting a full month from today to do this surgery that you claim is so important. How is that a life or death situation? And why is it irrational for me to ask you to wait until the first week of December to do it?

I am a little more than irritated and pissed off. The doctor calls us back and wants to talk about the anxiety behind the surgery, etc. I don’t need a lecture on anxiety. I have been living with it since this started. I know about anxiety. The surgery isn’t making either of us anxious. In fact, before today, we were calm and ready for it. And we still are not anxious; we’re pissed off.

If this is so serious (which it has ALWAYS BEEN and I have always pushed for this surgery from the beginning) then why didn’t we do it three weeks ago when he was already in the hospital where all his doctors were present. That would have been a life or death situation. You conveniently forgetting to even address the surgery until after we had to call multiple times after he left the hospital doesn’t sound to me like you think or really believe it is that life-threatening.

Had you called us and said, “We need you to bring him in now.” Then maybe I wouldn’t feel angry at you tossing the phrase “life or death” around. Especially since his condition hasn’t really worsened since April.

Am I being irrational in this thinking? I don’t think that I am.

So, the doctor says he will consult the other two surgeons to make sure we can either do it earlier like November 1st because they believe he should only need three weeks of healing to be able to travel OR the week of December 1st. I don’t care either way. If it’s an emergency then act like it and make some immediate plans. If not, then please take your patient’s needs and wants into consideration when you make your scheduling. It’s not that much to ask.

About Casandra

Avatar of Casandra
Hi! My name is Casandra Porter. I am the wife of, Marc, whom I care for. He suffers from a potential fatal infection that has spread to his brain. Something that is extremely rare. He is a patient of both Mayo Clinic AZ and Stanford University and has many other doctors on consult worldwide. We are a young-ish couple, in our early 30s. Marc is an avid video gamer and the resident comic relief. I am an amateur writer but my main focus is on working with independent artists and writers helping them gain following through social media outlets. I run several blogs. My current project with Marc is a blog called, Running With Sharp ObjectsIt is a blog dedicated to our marital conversations about the most wacky and hilarious topics, mostly pertaining to pop culture. It's a way to keep humor in our lives and bring a little bit to others. We are also setting up a Facebook page for this site where we share inspirational stories, quotes, etc. But, you can always find me right here on blogging about my life as a Caregiver.


  1. Avatar of Thedogmama

    You go girl! You are not being irrational. I agree with everything you said and am so proud of your ability to stand up for what makes perfect sense. Keep up the good work.

  2. Avatar of G-J

    Oh my gosh, you are NOT being irrational! As you said, if this is “life or death” they should be telling you to get your husband into the hospital NOW! To say it’s “life or death”, so they ‘ll do surgery on November 22nd instead of after Thanksgiving as you asked makes absolutely no sense!

    Stick to your guns!

  3. Avatar of ejourneys

    Casandra, good for you for standing up to their mixed messages! As TDM and G-J have said, you are not being irrational in the least. You deserve a straight answer from the docs, not a sudden ultimatum after their heel-dragging. Keep speaking truth to power. You have every right to be pissed at them.

  4. Avatar of EllysGdaughter

    Hurray for You! Casandra, I think this is working out beautifully. I have been concerned that you might be faced with more seizures before your trip – a great idea to have the surgery done before! I agree competely with your logic, you are not irrational and point out some great truths, holding those doctors accountable for what was NOT said at the hospital. Yea, so why didn’t they do this when you were sitting right there??? Yikes! I am getting onto my contact in Palo Alto to see what they are doing before Thanksgiving just in case!!!

  5. Avatar of Pegi

    Casandra, not much I can add, definitely agree with the others. If anyone is being irrational its the doctor! Either its life or death, which means now; or it can wait another week. It’s so insane when you get these mixed messages. You are doing a great job advocating for Marc and certainly have every right to be angry over this recent revelation. Keep fighting the fight. Have you both in my prayers.

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