Where Are We Headed?

dav1dp_push_to_open_buttonWhere are we headed?

I need to start this post off with, “I’m not talking about everyone, just the _?_%.” And what am I talking about? The people who see someone, be they elderly, pregnant, disabled, hands full, having a medical issue and clearly they are in need of some assistance with a door, picking something up, whatever it is and these people just sit or stand there and do absolutely nothing.

Yesterday Robert and I met up with my brother Jimmy and Mom for coffee around 4:30 pm. The mermaid logo coffee shop we went to was busier than I had ever seen it for that time. Now it’s sprinkling out, cold, and I have two mermaid logo bags full of blood oranges from our tree for Mom and Jimmy. At the same time I’m pushing Robert in his transport wheelchair (does not have the large tires, so he can’t move himself) and now trying to get in the only door going in/out. People are standing and sitting there looking directly at us. There are those who are acting as if they don’t even notice, you all know who your are and not one of them steps up and says, “Can I help you?” or grabs the door and holds it open.

Now when I say the _?_%, I mean that I have been in run down, project areas of Sacramento and San Francisco, even Miami and the Bahamas where I’ve seen 12-13 year-old kids stop walking by someone just to hold open a door. Here I am in an upscale coffee shop (say this because of their prices) and no one raises a finger to help.

I just had a thought, why am I putting “and you know who you are” in this post?  If they read this post, they would have helped. It means they have someone they care for and they understand what it’s like to be where I was. There are times when I hold open a door and the person will say, “There are still gentlemen.” Well, what about not gentlemen but plain decent understanding, kindness, lend a helping hand, etc.? What happened to teaching our kids how to be polite, kind and caring? If I was with my kids and they did or didn’t help in this case I would say something to them right then and there (and have). I would thank them for being so understanding and helpful and also ask them what they were thinking for not helping if they saw someone needed it and it would be in front of or ear shot of the person they did or didn’t help.

Another question is, should a store be required to have automatic handicap doors or at least hydraulic assisted doors for those in strollers, wheelchairs, using a walker or even an elderly person who may need that little extra bit of help?

Then all you _?_% can go back to your coffees, fra__achino’s and not have to worry. Reach out and hold open the door for someone. It’s not a disease, it’s a door.  *<? : ^{ )>

Avatar of Richard

About Richard

My name is Richard (@kreisr1), I am a Tri-Fecta caregiver, for my mother who has COPD among other health issues. I co-care for my brother in-law who has epilepsy and co-care with my wife's for myself, I deal with Chronic Back Pain.entire life and now after living alone, in a care facility and a group home setting we had to move him in with us to provide him with the care he needs.  Finally, with my wife who is also my co-caregiver I care for myself, I have had chronic pain (mid-low back) for 21-1/2 years thanks to a drunk driver.  I write my own blog, pickyourpain.org where I share my pain with humor, as I see thing, "Pain Without Humor is Just Painful."  I am involved with caregiving.com in several ways, as well as participating in several of the weekly caregiving.com blogs, I also am involved in their Twitter chats, I also host the following groups, SPOT (Stamp Procrastination Out Today), A Task A Day, The Men's Group, Healthy Caregiver and several others.  I am also the moderator for the Caregiving.com Quiz Show and have a seat on the bi-monthly Hot Topic's show. I'm here to not only improve Roberts life, the lives of those I touch on caregiving.com and pickyourpain.org but to find a way to improve my own live.

4 thoughts on “Where Are We Headed?

  1. Avatar of DeniseDenise

    Oh, this just makes me crazy!! I’m so sorry this happened. How hard is it to get up and help? So frustrating. I’m glad you wrote this because we can’t be reminded enough that we all can make a helping hand available.

  2. Avatar of LarryLarry

    This is extremely frustrating when it happens! I have had it happen at a medical providers office who’s door opener was broken and the staff just sat at reception looking at you when you are fighting the door! I complained to the provider who is also the owner of the practice. Now when we come they get up and open the door for us even though the opener is now working. I have noticed them doing it for others with wheelchairs also. I have even filed complaints at businesses that do not have the openers and threatened to take my business elsewhere and many have gotten openers.

  3. Avatar of PegiPegi

    So sad, but true. Have been subject to this too many times with my husband in a wheelchair. You are so right that children should be taught manners, like we were. I have forever opened doors, gave seat on bus etc as the years went by, that was what I was taught. “They” now stare, grown men, teen boys and wonder how I’m going to get that heavy looking wheelchair into the trunk. Draws an audience! Interestingly enough, on rare occassions I do have offers to help; its usually a tiny, elder lady! We don’t need more laws, just better manners!

  4. Avatar of ThedogmamaThedogmama

    Richard it is so frustrating to have perfectly healthy individuals looking on as we struggle balancing packages, bags and wheelchairs. I have a wee bit of an advantage because mom is such a “cute” little old lady people tend to help us. That being said, the biggest annoyance in our town is out local national pharmacy chain that has been in our plaza for years. The double doors are annoyingly heavy and hard to open, let alone push a wheelchair through. Why in the world a pharmacy of all businesses does not have automatic door openers is beyond me.


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