spider_webThings have been going very well here since Steve moved to a lower dose of one of his medications. He has been reading, his spirits are better, he seems to be remembering things, he’s napping less and he planned ahead and purchased a Christmas card and gifts. In the past when this has happened, I have wondered, Is he better? Has it really been something other than MCI all along?

Yeah, I know, wondering if he’s “better” as in “all better” is pretty crazy, but when I would see improvements during the first few years I did think that. Of course, each time, reality would provide a cold splash of water to awaken me to the truth of the situation.

This time, I haven’t even been cautiously optimistic that there is a permanent change, but I haven’t been waiting for the other shoe to drop either. Instead I’ve been thinking that we’ll just enjoy this as long as it lasts. It is hard, though, not to relax and be a little less aware of the realities of life with a spouse with MCI.

A few weeks ago, we were discussing what Steve was going to do with his time while he was off of school. He really can’t plan his time to begin and end a project or make sure he has something to do each day. When he doesn’t, it ends up that he might watch things on the computer, nap, and well, not much else all day, so I said he needed to do something on a regular basis. Steve asked the logical question, “What do you want me to do?”

Steve spent a few hours reading a book while I baked. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about what Steve could do with his time off. I realized that I wanted just a little structure for Steve. In addition to eating three meals, taking his meds, showering and getting dressed, I wanted him to go for a walk and do one thing each day. He could go to the movie at the Senior Center, read, work in the yard, spend time at the library, walk around Home Depot or visit the nature center, for example. 

I told Steve I had been thinking about his question from earlier and I had some ideas for him. Steve’s response, “What question?”  GOTCHA!

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3 Comments on "GOTCHA!"

Profile photo of ejourneys
Dec 26, 2013

Hi, G-J — First, I am very glad the med change has helped! Even if it’s moment to moment, because those are valuable moments. Enjoying them for as long as they last is definitely the way to go.

That forgetfulness happens here, too. In our case I think it also has to do with the lack of filtering. A “question” could refer to any question at all, like, “Did you sleep okay?” even though the context suggests something else, like a structured activity. Context goes out the window and my partner fixates on just the word.

Wishing you many more good moments. (((Hugs)))

Profile photo of Pegi
Dec 26, 2013

GJ, so glad you had such wonderful moments for Christmas, the best present ever. Its hard not to hope the changes are permanent. Hope in spite of the question forgottern you continue to have pleasant holidys. Great idea to give him a little project to do each day. Your both remain in my prayers.

Dec 26, 2013

Oh, GJ, It’s so easy to drop our guard for a little while. I love how you were thinking so intently about the question and coming up with creative ideas and choices. What a jolt when you had your ideas all organized and then he didn’t remember the question! Oh boy. Well, at least you have a ready answer for the next time he asks. :-) Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.