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How Are You Managing?

Merry_Christmas_ornament_blank_greenAs you navigate the Christmas holiday, please feel free to vent and share by posting a comment here or by visiting our 36-hour chatroom. You can visit us as often as you need to update us.

Wishing you and yours a holiday that brings you moments of calm and comfort.

About Denise

Avatar of Denise
I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues.


  1. I was watching my husband use his walker to make fudge and it just kind of hit me like a ton of bricks –what if he’s not here next year — or what if he’s lost too much to ever make his fudge again .. my heart is breaking at an unexpected moment —

  2. The last time I cried tears of sadness or being overwhelmed (I guess, non joy or non spiritually based tears) was when my , now 22 year old, was 6 and had meningitis — I think my mental health treatment team would be thrilled if I actually let my guard down enough to cry — but as much as I feel the led ball to the stomach — I hold my breath instead of crying — and no idea how to let it out despite years of counseling and help –

    • Avatar of Denise

      It’s hard to do, I think, because you worry the tears will swallow you up. And, it’s really hard to be vulnerable when others are around. It’s all just hard. I’m thinking of you.

  3. Avatar of Gail Kroll

    For three hours now my Mom “has been playing a game with me” about taking her pain meds. This brought me to tears. While she doesn’t remember it some five months ago we were in the ER seven out of ten days due to her pain for her headaches and stomach aches. I told her in all honestly I was tired of playing a nurse and I just wanted to be a daughter again. She said “Okay.” I am tired.

    I am thrilled however to have won the TAKING COMFORT, TOO CD though! Right now? I could use it!!!!

  4. Avatar of EllysGdaughter

    I am managing pretty well right now. Elly is disoriented about what day it is, but that’s to be expected since she was out of her controlling routine for 3 days. I feel like I have enough patience to answer the questions about what day it is or do I need to change my bandage, again and again… I had a long talk with NurseySister who said she just now Got It! She now understands my predicament! This is the Aha Moment for her: EG(me) is equipped and gifted to be a Caregiver but Elly is refusing to let EG wear the Caregiver Hat!! So true!! I am going to get help to come in so that Elly’s bedroom & bathroom get cleaned every or every other week! I am not going to have a conversation about it! We have home health coming in to change the bandage on the leg wound so it would be part of that routine in Elly’s mind at the moment.! I will call on Thursday to see if Valley Caregivers are open to answer my need! What a Christmas present! Thank you for the Amazon Gift Card, I am sooo excited – I have already ordered one book and will wait until Thursday to see if there are any others on sale :) I pray that you all have a Merry Christmas and will find your strength to get through this season in the One who Created YOU and the Reason for the Season! I wish I could hug each one of you as we travel this adventure!!

  5. Avatar of Gail Kroll

    Tonight Mom didn’t take all her medications for the first time ever. She cannot swallow them. I fear we will have to cancel her PCP appointment at the office on the day after Christmas. My younger sister, her husband and younger son arrive tomorrow. Mom is becoming disoriented. It seems that hospice looms near. I might have to make an appointment for Friday. We’ll see. The visiting PT is suppose to come on Friday. To discharge Mom. I’m a mess. I don’t know what to do or how to handle anything anymore. I’m glad I have an appointment with Mom’s PCP (now mine too) on Thursday after Christmas. I have a terrible cold. That doesn’t help. Mom is in need of the transport chair also and the commode now too. All things our PCP recommended we get and have. Thank God!

  6. Avatar of Pegi

    We had an unexpected surprise this Christmas eve; a good one! My two sisters up North, aware of our current excursion knew there was very little time to do my usually Christmas decor extravaganza. While sitting on the porch with hubby, getting him some fresh air a package was delivered. It is a small evergreen about a foot and a half high, complete with little lights and ornaments to decorate it. After the holidays its a tree we can plant in our yard once my husband is well enough to get back to his projects. Such a joyful gift of love sent from “home” to ease the weariness of the past weeks and the first Christmas without our much loved Mother. She is definately smiling down on her “girls”. Many Christmas Blessings to all!

  7. Avatar of Thedogmama

    The music is playing Silent Night…the fire burning in the fireplace, I am blessed with my children cleaning the kitchen after a Christmas breakfast cooked by #1 Son. French toast, peppered bacon and scrambled eggs. We have managed to open a few little stocking stuffers (supplied by daughter) and the caregiver arrived and is getting Mom up and washed. Last night was hard on Mom, she was missing being able to come down stairs and be with her family. The kids were great, going upstairs and visiting with her, but the loss of her mobility and freedom is weighing heavily on her. She was horrified and sobbing when she had to call me to her room at 9:30 on Christmas Eve to give her an enema on the bedpan. So difficult. But we are ready to head upstairs and celebrate with her in her room after her breakfast. Peace to you all, even if it is only for a moment.

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