My two sisters control caregiving in order to deny perhaps the eventual passing of my mom. It must be terribly difficult for them to see Mom decline and not be near her or able to take care of her. Of course they could do more but what they do is their way of showing their control of the situation. Asking legal questions. Trying to control finances. Saving money for their future and supposedly mine (?) although I have not asked this of them. I keep saying it is Mom’s money spend it on her.
Caregiving to them means having a stranger take care of Mom. Perhaps it even means that to me now also. Our CNA is a little angel for Mom and me. She arrived from heaven at just the right time and is perfect for the job. She handled my younger sister and her family perfectly while they were here this weekend and she spent time with us. My younger sister even recommended she stay next weekend while my older sister is here so the two of us can get out and have quality time together too.
Hospice of course is still a difficult issue for them but that’s okay. I’m resigned to that. What can I do actually.
And my younger sister doesn’t like it that our CNA isn’t paid for by Medicare and is going to be working for us for forty hours. My mom is so glad. She thinks I will have time for my own self. To do as I wish. Although she did say to me today that our CNA will have to stay with us or do our errands for the whole forty hours which we have been fudging on a little. I said I thought the same thing and agreed with her. (Actually this only benefits me now!) Maybe now dinners can be made by her and no longer by me after Mom has been telling her to leave early. Thank goodness.
But, our angel CNA does everything and even thinks of more things to do now. She fits in perfectly. She bought us the most beautiful New Year’s Card wishing us wonderful blessings for 2014 and that is what we wish for her too.
I wish the same for my two sisters. They may fire our wonderful new CNA. They may pull the rug out from our new hospice support system. But? They are doing what they mean for the best of everyone. I need to understand that. I think I am giving them more credit due than they give Mom and me and more benefit also but I do understand.
Death is a strange thing. Life can be cruel also.
- An RN from Hospice Comes Today (caregiving.com)
- I Think the Time for Hospice May Be Soon (caregiving.com)
- 17 Reasons Why Caregiving Makes You Awesome (caregiving.com)
- The Trifecta of Caregiving (caregiving.com)
- How Employers Can Help Their Caregiving Employees (caregiving.com)
- *tmi Alert**tmi Alert* (caregiving.com)
- Managing Your Caregiving Fears (caregiving.com)
- Podcast: Table Talk with Bob (caregiving.com)
- Friday Video Chat: What If Employers Offered a Caregiving Leave? (caregiving.com)