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Home > Blogs > Caring for Two > Newfound Respect

Newfound Respect

respect-mdI have a total newfound respect for all you caregivers out there. Even through I am a tri-vecta caregiver in that I care for my mom, co-care for my brother in-law and am also a caree to my lovely wife, I have seen all aspects of caregiving, or at least I thought I had.

A few months ago my wife and I found our military precision caregiving routine thrown into an upheaval. We have our daily duties and times when we each care for Robert. Well that all changed when I was put into the ICU for a week and was not home to help with him. So Trish had to take on “everything” and ended up missing on her morning mocha (which I make each day) because she didn’t know how to operate the espresso machine. Now even if Trish has to work late, she has always been home in time to get Robert’s bed ready and help him with his end-of-day routine.

Well, last night, she was unable to be home in time so the duties fell on my square, broad, shoulders.  Once Robert gets home from day program, he starts with the restroom and then goes with all the tasks that are done there and if he needs cleaning up (normally he does), so be it. When done, he proceeds to the couch where he watches his favorite TV shows and works on his word search Puzzles and will continue this routine until dinner time. With Robert having the epilepsy and some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), what may take you and I minutes will take Robert ten, fifteen minutes. Rushing things with him not only does not work but can and has brought on seizures. But that still means he has a time frame of when things get done and, believe me, he knows the time frame and what time it is and will call you out on the dot if it’s medicine time or something else that needs to be handled.

Back to my story, so last night, Trish had a company meeting she had to be at and thought she would be back around 6 or 6:30 p.m The meeting was running late so once the dogs had their dinner and Robert was done eating his dinner of cheeseburger, fries, applesauce and an Oreo cookie (okay, you’re right I went to McDonald’s, except for the latter two), I decided to get his bed ready, get him changed and cleaned up and into bed.

I was spent and Trish did this for a week when I was in ICU? Don’t forget she also took care of the morning routine, the above routine, feeding of the dogs, laundry, etc, etc all by herself and she came to the hospital every day for hours only to leave to be home when Robert returned from day program and she did this was FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK!

After doing half of the morning routine and the entire evening routine just once, I need to just say, I have a newfound respect for all family caregivers, co-caregivers and anyone taking care of a loved one, family friend, friend, or other. The days can be long, the pay short, the gratitude minimal at times, but from one family caregiver, co- caregiver, caree, Thank You each and everyone for everything you do for your carees. You are all true heroes. And to Trish, I know you say we don’t have to and that it’s something families do for each other, but personally, I feel I do need to say it as often as I can: Thank you for everything you do for Robert and I. You are our hero.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS FROM ALL OF OURS

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About Richard

Avatar of Richard
My name is Richard (@kreisr1), I am a Tri-Fecta caregiver, for my mother who has COPD among other health issues. I co-care for my brother in-law who has epilepsy and co-care with my wife's for myself, I deal with Chronic Back Pain. entire life and now after living alone, in a care facility and a group home setting we had to move him in with us to provide him with the care he needs.  Finally, with my wife who is also my co-caregiver I care for myself, I have had chronic pain (mid-low back) for 21-1/2 years thanks to a drunk driver.  I write my own blog, pickyourpain.org where I share my pain with humor, as I see thing, "Pain Without Humor is Just Painful."  I am involved with caregiving.com in several ways, as well as participating in several of the weekly caregiving.com blogs, I also am involved in their Twitter chats, I also host the following groups, SPOT (Stamp Procrastination Out Today), A Task A Day, The Men's Group, Healthy Caregiver and several others.  I am also the moderator for the Caregiving.com Quiz Show and have a seat on the bi-monthly Hot Topic's show. I'm here to not only improve Roberts life, the lives of those I touch on caregiving.com and pickyourpain.org but to find a way to improve my own live.

5 comments

  1. Avatar of Pegi

    Richard, we all see how much you do and especially under your cirumstances I’d say its a commendable job! How wondeful it is that you so freely acknowledge all that @Trish takes on each day…I think you’re both pretty great and I’m sure Trish will love this post. I know I did.

  2. Avatar of Thedogmama

    Thank you Richard, to a man who can make a caregivers day. Seems to me the man in the mirror deserves some of that respect too. May you and Trish and Robert have a Wonderful and Blessed Christmas Season and a Healthy and Happy New Year!

  3. Avatar of EllysGdaughter

    Richard, You are an awesome Husband and Caregiver too! Thank you for the Kudos and I say “Back atcha Man!” It is good to hear from you again! Merry Christmas to You, Trish and Robert! I look forward to a New Year with my Caregiving Family!

  4. Avatar of ejourneys

    Back at’cha from me, too! You and @Trish are a fabulous team.

  5. Avatar of Trish

    It’s funny because we both have had that perspective of having to fill in for the other one and then realizing how much easier it is with two of us. Teamwork is the way to go and we realize how lucky we are to be able to share in the responsibilities of caring for Robert. Good job, @kreisler!

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