A Cheat Sheet: One More Person Asks for Help

640px-Glazed-DonutYou feel the pull all day long–the pull from those who need your help. On most days, you think of the pull as part of the day. On some days, you even embrace the pull because you know you can manage all that the day requires of you.

But there’s a day when the pull feels like war. On that day, all the pulls on your time, your mind, your body, your pocketbook put you into survival mode. When that happens, one more pull puts you into battle. For some reason, the battle line seems to form at the store.

And that’s what happens on Saturday morning when you’re in line to buy donuts, a nice treat for the family. You can hear the person behind you arrive in line because of the heavy breathing and under-the-breath muttering that she doesn’t have time for this line.

Sure enough, she taps you on your shoulder. “Would you mind if I went in front of you in line? I’m in a huge hurry.”

The first shot has been fired. What to do?

A Family Caregiver’s Cheat Sheet:
One More Person Asks for Help

1. Take your time as you consider this request. Decide you can find great comfort in realizing that you can pick your battles.

2. Then, smile as you say, “Of course.”

3. Change places in line with that person behind you.

4. Take a moment to give thanks that today is a day you can get to the store and have the time you need to enjoy time in the store.

5. Enjoy looking at all the variety of donuts.

6. Turn to smile at the person who now stands behind you in line.

7. When it’s your turn, order your donuts with gratitude.

8. Accept a free donut from a store employee who says, “I saw you give up your place in line. I’ve got a free donut for you for being so awesome.”

9. Accept the free donut with a laugh and a “Thank you!”

10. Give yourself a little break by taking the long way home.

11. Enjoy the donuts with your family.

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About Denise Brown

I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched CareGiving.com in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues. I've written several caregiving books, including "The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey," "Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers" and "After Caregiving Ends, A Guide to Beginning Again." You can purchase my books and schedule a coaching call with me in our store.

5 thoughts on “A Cheat Sheet: One More Person Asks for Help

  1. Avatar of MissAngieMissAngie

    Um I couldn’t t do that. I usually have two dogs in the car and my mom on my way to take my daughter to work. They’d be lucky if I didn’t throw doughnut holes at them especially if i haven’t had my coffee yet. So sad but true…lol

    Reply
  2. Avatar of PegiPegi

    True story, we’re sitting on the front porch in our old community, with Jim in his wheelchair. A girl from the office comes by and asks if we would be on the Emergency Hurricane Committe and help those that need assistance. I had no words! Just looked at my husband, and back at her with a what kind of idiot are you stare.

    Reply

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