A Cheat Sheet: Your Boss Wants You to Manage His Mom’s Care

512px-Cubicle_land(Editor’s Note: On Saturday, we began a new series called “Cheat Sheets.” We’ll share easy-to-remember tips to help you through caregiving’s most hair-raising and patience-testing moments.)

You thought it best to keep your boss abreast of your caregiving responsibilities simply because you can’t predict how your spouse and your father will be from one day to the next. On a regular basis, you share about the services and solutions you use so your boss knows you’re doing your best to manage an unpredictable situation.

It all seemed so smart and proactive and awesome until the day your boss says to you:

“You take such great care of your spouse and parent. I want you to manage my mother’s care.”

Stunned into a stupor, you nod your head up and down, doing your best to prevent your feet from stomping up and down.

On your way back to your cube, as your head begins to pound, you think, “Could my hell get any hotter?”

Now what?

Here’s your cheat sheet to manage your boss who manipulates you into taking on yet another caree.

A Family Caregiver’s Cheat Sheet:
Your Boss Wants You to Manage his Mom’s Care

1. Go the bathroom. Cry.

2. Go to a co-worker’s office. Close the door. Scream.

3. Call the home care agency you use. Say, “My boss would like to use your services based on my recommendation. What kind of discount will you give to both us?”

4. Call the durable medical equipment supplier you use. Say, “My boss would like to use your services based on my recommendation. What kind of discount will you give to both us?”

5. Call the geriatric care manage who spoke at your recent support group meeting. Say, “I’d like to hire you on behalf of my boss. What kind of discount do you offer to my support group?”

6. Share the results of your phone calls with your boss. Then, ask: “What’s the toughest part of managing your mom’s care for you?”

7. Listen and then say, “I bet we’ve got lots of employees in situations similar to yours and mine. What if we organize a support group here at work as well as a buying cooperative? Perhaps our collective buying power will make it less expensive for all of us to provide care.”

8. Then say, “What if I speak with Human Resources to put these programs in place and brainstorm other ways we can help each other?”

9. End the meeting with one last request: “Thank you so much for this opportunity to ease the stress of caregiving for all of us. I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and completely burnt-out. So, I’d like to take Friday off.”

10. Enjoy your day off.

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About Denise

I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched CareGiving.com in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues. I've written several caregiving books, including "The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey," "Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers" and "After Caregiving Ends, A Guide to Beginning Again." You can purchase my books and schedule a coaching call with me in our store.

One thought on “A Cheat Sheet: Your Boss Wants You to Manage His Mom’s Care

  1. Carol jones

    #7 I’ve been a professional caregiver 43 years. A family caregiver 20 plus… 7 is the answer

    Reply

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