chocolate-1934_640In caregiving, you focus on protecting your caree. If only you could protect your heart.

So many disappointments pile up during a caregiving experience. Your friends disappear, your family members wipe their hands, health care professionals give you the run-around, you lose chances, your caree declines seemingly happen overnight. With each setback, you feel your heart break off another little piece.

To protect more breaks from happening, you may be tempted to harden your heart. If your heart becomes cold to the day’s events, maybe you’ll be able to move through difficulties without shedding more tears.

Sure, a hardened heart may make a day easier. But, an impenetrable heart takes away your meaning and your purpose. When your heart stays cold, you miss the opportunity to glow in the tiny miracles of the day that tie you to your purpose. You miss the joke, you miss the connection, you miss the insight.

A cold heart may feel like a great survival strategy. When a cold heart melts, though, you’ve got a life worth living.


Melt into your difficulties and challenges. You’ll also settle into your joy and wisdom.

Avatar of Denise

About Denise Brown

I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues. I've written several caregiving books, including "The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey," "Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers" and "After Caregiving Ends, A Guide to Beginning Again." You can purchase my books and schedule a coaching call with me in our store.

4 thoughts on “Melt

  1. Avatar of Gail KrollGail Kroll

    My heart melts constantly every time Mom says “I love you, Gail.” Or she blows me a kiss. Or says “Good Night, Gail. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Or “Is your nightlight on tonight for me to see, Gail?” All these little things. They make my heart melt. With reason. I love it! It makes my life have meaning.

  2. Avatar of PegiPegi

    @Denise, thanks I needed that. Take so much “pride” in never crying during crisis or in front of my husband, I think I may have gone too much over board. Time to take inventory, and melt a little. Could also do wonders for my stress level. I love your Comforts; so many are just spot on.

  3. Avatar of EllysGdaughterEllysGdaughter

    Oh, Denise, you seem to hit me on the head every time. Sometimes I wonder if there is any love left after pouring it out into the Stoic abyss! I like the idea of Melt and do melt when Elly says “Thank You” or “That feels better” or “That was really a good meal”. I collect those words to crack the bits of hardening that happen on my heart! Thank You!


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