What Am I Doing? Where Do I Go Now?

“Oh my word, what am I doing here?”

I think that thought once too often it seems, perhaps more when I’m worried or stressed. Or maybe lost (physically, emotionally or spiritually). I’ve been going through a lot of back and forth lately with a certain one for which I care. Sometimes, heck a lot of the times, things are so overwhelming for both of us it’s truly crazy-ville. To calm myself, I clam up and think….and think…and think some more. Deep breaths help during this thinking time. It’s downtime and perhaps escape time. Psychologists might call this a “coping technique”. Truly, it’s a way to deal with the everyday, especially when the day is going pretty sucky (or even the week…month…ugh). Personally, reading and games help me through the suck-fest, both are ways of slowing down/escaping. Talking would probably help more, but sometimes I find it easier to center myself first before leaning onto others. But, eventually, we all have to come out of our turtle shells, even if for a short while. And, say “Look! Here I am!”

In other news, as I said in my activity stream recently, I drank the kool-aid in my escapism this week. (Thanks, Denise…I think. ;P LOL) It took me maybe 10 games to victory!
2048 madness

Savoring in that small feat for five seconds, while I can.

What’s next? What do you think?

Oh, and I blogged at “my place” as well tonight…it’s what led me to post here. Go see. ;)


2 thoughts on “What Am I Doing? Where Do I Go Now?

  1. Avatar of DeniseDenise

    First, I am incredibly impressed that you have solved the game that I’m still playing over and over and over. :)

    Second, I’m fascinated by the insight about what you need before reaching out. @trish has spoken about this as well. I’m intrigued by this because of how difficult it can be reach family caregivers. I think it’s because of the withdrawal (that movement into the turtle shell). It strikes me that the best we (those of us who help family caregivers) can do is to remain present, remain available, remain a resource. We have to trust family caregivers to reach out when they’re ready. We simply remain ready in the meantime.

    How are you feeling today?

  2. Avatar of TrishTrish

    Congrats on winning the game, PL! I’ve been playing but haven’t got close to winning. (Thanks, by the way, @Denise – this game is very addicting!).

    I do the same thing as far as the turtle shell thing. I hunker down and need to regroup by myself/ in myself but then when I start to come out of it, I write and realize how much it helped! It must be the combination of both the quiet and then the writing.

    I hope things are better. I really could relate to the timeframe you mentioned: day – week – month. It really starts to blend together.

    Let us in on your secret to winning and I truly hope things are getting a little better. Thinking of you!


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