(Editor’s Note: We welcome Bootsie, who cares for her mom, to our blogging team tonight. You can connect with her on her profile page: @bootsie.)

heart-37228_640So the story is too long to tell and it involves social media of all things but I am in touch with a caring, competent, understanding Angel. I have her name and contact information and she is walking me through the steps to get my mom approved for Medicaid in my state.

My mom’s financial situation is not good at all and she is the main reason for that. In order to bail out her children she put herself in deep debt and was borrowing from other family members even behind my back since I have been caring for her. She was low income to begin with and was borrowing and spending or as I say “robbing Peter to pay Paul”. When she came back to stay with me after three weeks back at her house, eight-day hospital stay, and 20 days in SNF (skilled nursing facility), I told her she could only return if she let me take over her finances, stop the borrowing and sell her home to pay off loans.

She had been staying with us for over a year at this point. I was embarrassed that we were caring for her yet she was borrowing money to keep her head afloat. I am still harboring bad feelings toward a sibling who was aiding and abetting this behavior. I am also angry with her that all of this mess was going to be dumped in my lap when she dies.

So now family members are surviving without borrowing from her, she is no longer borrowing from other family members, house is for sale, a little cash was raised by selling off some old insurance policies and I have learned so much during this process. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with but I am determined to see it through until the end.

My lifesavers are my neighbor who listens to me vent, a realtor I found online, a politician running for office who helped connect me to my Angel and my awesome husband who keeps me sane!

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6 Comments on "Lifesavers"

Profile photo of jan
Aug 26, 2014

What an eye-opening post, Bootsie. Caring for your mom’s physical and emotional needs is a big load; then struggling with extended financial issues makes it so much more complex. I am so happy for all the Angels, Archangels, cherubim, and other heavenly beings who are guiding you through this day by day. Thanks for sharing your story with us, hope it helps you, too.

Janet willis
Aug 26, 2014

I can understand your frustration, my mom has been the opposite paying every bill good thing, but buying life insurance and long term care insurance at a tune if 3,000 a year. That would be good if the insurance paid good.but has to have 100 service days before they start paying. Mom has save all her life, now she thinks she needs to save money for children no matter what I tell her.

Profile photo of Denise
Aug 26, 2014

Hi Bootsie–First, I am so glad you are blogging!

There’s just so much to care for–the caree, the house, the money. It’s overwhelming.

How does your mom feel now that you’ve stopped the bleeding? I wonder if she’s relieved that she now longer has to solve problems that aren’t hers to solve?

Aug 26, 2014

Two years ago before things got so bad with her mobility I got her to give me Health Care Power of Attorney and do a Living Will. Well this year when she left skilled nursing facility we did Durable Power of Attorney and a Will. I think she likes me being the bad guy (tough love) and making sure her bills are paid. What is crazy is she the most thrilled to have a Will even though there will be no money left to leave to anyone.

Profile photo of EllysGdaughter
Aug 26, 2014

Hello Bootsie! Wow, what a wonderful post with such encouraging turnaround for your Mom’s life! You are so blessed to have those folks to be with you through this tough situation! Congratulations to your mom for allowing you to set things right and help with tough love! You have really walked through some fire and will be rewarded with peace for the future!

Profile photo of Pegi
Aug 27, 2014

Bootsie, great post. You may have an angel, but your mother has one also. There is so much more than health concerns when you take on the role as caregiver. Great job, you should be so proud of yourself.