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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Life After Caregiving A Registered Nurse Reaches Home Care Clients Professionally and Personally For Terri Jacobsen, her caregiving experience began in her childhood, when she was five and her younger brother was born with heart disease. Not expected to live, he defied the odds and lived until 17 years of age. "I became a nurse because my brother was so sick," Terri says. "We were constantly at the hospital. I saw the bloopers that happened in the hospital, like my brother developing a serious infection that was overlooked by the hospital staff. And, I saw how the doctors treated my folks." Her career as a nurse led her to work as a consultant, helping health care organizations manage the change needed to stay competitive in a changing health care industry. As she helped companies prepare for change, she found herself unprepared by a change in her family: Caring for another family member, this time, for her mother, diagnosed at age 50 with Parkinson's. Her mother received care at home, primarily from Terri's father and with Terri's help, until she was 60, when the care needs intensified to such an extent that nursing home was the only option. "I was so frustrated and so conflicted" by the experience of caring for her mom, Terri says. "I am a Registered Nurse with a Master's Degree and I had a heck of a time trying to help. There just weren't many options. And, I felt so lost, not sure where to go for help." The nursing home decision was awful. "I cried three days straight. I felt I had betrayed her." The adjustment to the nursing home was difficult for her mother, but Terri and her father made a pact: One of them would always be with her mother every day. "There's never any way you're going to get one-on-one care at the nursing home," Terri says. "The intent is there, but the one-on-one care is just not a reality." Terri also learned that the staff just did not understand her mother's care needs, including the necessity of dispensing her mother's Parkinson's medications on time. Without timely medication, her mother would freeze-while on the toilet, while dressing, while walking. (The disease causes muscles to freeze without warning.) The staff misunderstood the disease process as attempts by Terri's mother to manipulate them. So, to ensure her mother's care needs were met, Terri and her father remained vigilant in overseeing the care her mother received. Their daily visits provided emotional support to Terri's mother and kept the nursing home staff on their toes. But, the experience-of not having enough home care options and of the inexperience of the nursing home staff to manage her mother's care needs-stayed with Terri long after her mother's death in 1998. And, as she cared for her mother, Terri began to question her life's purpose. "I was giving care and searching for myself," she says. "I went to psycho-therapy. By constantly searching for what I didn't want and searching for my boundaries--me versus caregiving-I didn't lose myself." In some regard, in that caregiving experience, Terri found herself. Terri and her second husband began researching small business opportunities, including opening an art gallery. But, obstacle after obstacle made the gallery opening seemingly impossible-which led to her husband's discovery of a home care franchise called Comfort Keepers, a non-medical in-home care company. They opened their franchise in 2000 in Aurora, Ill. Their agency currently cares for 60 clients and employees 50 professional caregivers. "I believe we were directed to this opportunity," Terri says. Because of her family caregiving experiences, Terri trains her staff to have "consumer-level education of the diseases" of her clients. Terri believes it's critical that her staff have the same knowledge of the disease as does the family of the patient. In addition, Terri helps the staff learn how to relate to their clients on a personal level, by hearing their life stories. With the personal knowledge of their clients, the staff has a better understanding of their clients so that they can best help them on a professional level. Terri understands that many families are "grossly unprepared for caregiving. We need to teach families to manage the care," she says. Caregiving changed Terri in a profound way, a change she compares to the changes people have after a near-death experience. "I didn't want any of my family members to die in vain." And, that's now Terri's life's work. For more information on Comfort Keepers, please visit www.comfortkeepers.com. Putting the Pieces of the Puzzle Together |
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