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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Your Caregiving Battles Will The Guilt Let You Live A Good Life? A few weeks ago, I gave a presentation to a very nice group of family caregivers. Like you, they struggle with the emotions of the experience, especially the guilt. “What do you do about the guilt?” they asked. Guilt will eat you alive: Guilt that you can’t be there for your care recipient as often as he or she would like. Guilt that you can drive the car, but he can’t. Guilt that you can take a vacation this summer, but she can’t. Guilt about the decision you must make to ensure his safety. About a year ago, a member of one of our support groups shared an experience she had this past Christmas. She, her husband and their five-year-old spent Christmas with her in-laws. She cares for her parents, who reside in a nursing home. Her days had been consumed by visits to ensure they were okay; she felt horribly guilty if she missed a visit. The guilt exhausted her more than the visits. During her Christmas vacation, she had an epiphany: She does deserve to have a good life! With that permission, she explored what a good life meant to her. She and her husband decided they wanted another child. She’s had another child last fall. We all deserve a good life. Caregiving may change the look of the good life, just as it will change your idea of a good life. Guilt may try to keep you away from pursuing your good life. But, put guilt away in a locked box. When she rears her ugly head, as she has a tendency to do, remember: I’m doing my best. That’s all I can do. When you minimize guilt, you leave more room for the good life. Determining the Best Care at End of Life How Do You Say What They Don’t Want To Hear?
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions |
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