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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Promised! Inheriting Memories By Marlene S. Stum, Ph.D. Just before Anna Krueger was about to enter a nursing home at the age of 85, she held a family gathering to discuss who should get her personal belongings. With each of her four children gathered, Anna shared family history and stories that went with the important possessions in her life, wishes were expressed, and decisions made. Six months later when Anna died, her children not only held onto her possessions, but also the stories of her life. By making inheritance decisions ahead of time, Anna also prevented disagreements about who should receive what items. Almost everyone has personal belongings such as wedding photographs, a baseball glove, or a yellow pie plate that contain meaning for them and for other members of their family. What we've learned by listening to families and attorneys is that often the non-titled personal property creates the greatest challenges for families when estates are divided--not the money. When doing estate planning, families too often talk about the house or the investments, but forget to plan ahead or discuss personal possessions. Do you know what items have special meaning or value in your family and why? Do you know how to get started to communicate and plan ahead? What's unique about personal possessions and inheritance? --The sentimental meaning attached to personal possessions can make decisions more emotional --Objects can involve the process of grieving and saying goodbye --Objects help preserve memories, family history, and family rituals --Being fair is complex --Personal belongings will have different value and meaning to each individual --It is difficult to measure the worth or value of personal property --It can be impossible to divide items equally --Distribution methods and consequences are not widely understood or known. Tips for planning ahead Planning ahead for inheritance versus waiting until a crisis or death does have benefits. These include more choices, a chance for thoughtful communication, and fewer family conflicts. The award-winning book, "Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate?" provides a positive planning process to transfer non-titled property. The book is based on research with families and attorneys and is designed to help overcome common inheritance decision-making obstacles. Whether planning ahead or making decisions when someone dies, the book is a must-read. It is a step-by-step guide filled with worksheets, practical suggestions, proven strategies, and real-life stories. To jump-start your communication and planning, order "Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate? Workbook: A Guide To Passing on Personal Possessions." Call 1-800-876-8636 or place an order on www.yellowpieplate.umn.edu. ($12.50 plus shipping and handling). |
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