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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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(Each month, we take a closer look at an aspect of your caregiving experience. In May, our focus is managing your grief over the loss of a care recipient, while you still provide care for other family members.) Losing a care recipient--and you're still a caregiver Working to make the moments By Denise M. Brown I often host workshops and seminars, where I introduce the concept, The Caregiving Years: Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey. One of the most powerful aspects of the concept, I believe, is its motion between the care recipient and the family caregiver. When a family caregiver first becomes involved in providing the care, the emphasis, naturally, is on the care recipient. Then, as the caregiving journey proceeds and the family caregiver becomes more comfortable in his or her role, the emphasis focuses on the caregiver and the care recipient--and their relationship. Then, after the journey ends, the focus is on the family caregiver. At a recent workshop, I explained this motion between the care recipient and family caregiver. One long-time caregiver, who cares for her mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease, questioned how the focus could possibly be on her and her mother. Alzheimer's disease had taken away her ability to communicate with her mother--and vice versa. How could the focus then be on their relationship? this caregiver wondered The opportunity is there, I reassured the caregiver. It's there. Then, the caregiver thought for a moment: You know, she said, after I put my mother to bed at night, I sit with her, hold her hand and stroke her face. That's it, I exclaimed! That's what I mean! That's what we work for--those moments. That's what becomes so important to us. It's about the moments. And, its those moments that comfort us and that we treasure when our care recipients are gone. I assured the family caregiver: Those moments will keep your mother alive in your heart--forever. In this issue, we talk about an issue facing many caregivers which makes us realize how important those moments are. We lose a care recipient--and still care for our father, our mother, our husband, our sister. This month, we talk about how we can mourn our loss and still be available to help another family member. I think, after reading the stories of two family caregivers who have lost loved ones, you'll have a better understanding of your role. And, just how wonderful you are. Index of Articles: Mourning Her Mother and Worrying about Her Husband Losing your mother--and caring for mother-in-law, father, aunt, brother
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