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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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(Each month, we take a closer look at an aspect of your caregiving experience. In May, we take a look at those care recipients who just can't cooperate.) An Uncooperative Care Recipient If You Would Only Do As I Said! Carolyn and her husband, Frank, are having a normal day, which means that they are both so mad at each other that they’ve spent the day in silence. Carolyn became so mad at Frank earlier in the day, that as soon as he turned his back, Carolyn stuck her tongue out at her mom. In the moment, it felt great. She stuck her tongue out for a long time, even wiggling her hips (okay, her backside) to get a little bit of motion behind it, reinforcing exactly what she meant by sticking out her tongue. Yes, in the moment, it felt great. But, a few hours later, the guilt has set in. “Yesh,” she thought, “when did it all become so childish?” Carolyn and Frank are engaged in a Battle of the Wills. Carolyn wants Frank to accept help; Frank has set his heals in the ground, he won’t accept help and he’s not budging. And, so now the days are spent in anger and frustration. And, they’re both exhausted from it. Caregiving is hard. And, it can become impossible if you and your care recipient engage in a Battle of the Wills—a battle that no one can win. In this issue, we offer some practical solutions to dealing with an uncooperative care recipient. At times, managing an uncooperative care recipient comes down to this: We often have to change. And, if we change how we react, we can change our circumstances and perhaps even our relationship with our care recipient. After all, the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over—and expect different results. If we can change, we can change our frustration, anger and our guilt. And, who wouldn’t want to get rid of those? Index of Articles My care recipient won't cooperate! Managing The Disease Determines Cooperativeness |
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