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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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(Each month, we take a closer look at an aspect of your caregiving experience. In November, our focus is managing the disagreements that may occur over inheritances.) Mom promised that to me! By Denise M. Brown, Publisher/Editor, Caregiving! newsletter Sue, Barb and Mary had two great aunts: Anne and Margaret. The three girls spent time with both aunts as young girls and then as women raising their own families. But Margaret was their favorite; she was kind and fun and easy to talk to. Margaret also was Mary's godmother; when Margaret died, she left her diamond ring to Mary. Anne, whose difficult personality caused decades of disputes within the family, does not want to be outdone by the generosity of her sister, Margaret. Anne decides to give a family ring to her favorite of the three girls, Sue. Barb does her best to appreciate the gifts that her two sisters received. She understands why Mary received a diamond ring, but she does admit to Mary that Anne's gift to Sue makes her see green. What makes matters worse: Barb and Mary have always been the closest of the sisters, which rankles Sue. Out of respect for Sue's feelings, Barb and Mary discreetly make plans to see each other, plans which are never publicized in front of Sue. Sue knows that the gift of the ring bothers Barb. But, she flaunts the ring whenever she can. The green that Barb sees turns to a dark, red color. And, it colors her heart and her feelings toward Sue. Ah! The inheritance of possessions. The power it can give the giver and the receiver--power that can be used to settle old scores, reinforce favorites, dredge up old family disputes. As the primary family caregiver for an aging relative, you'll see it all with your care recipient's possessions: You already may have seen a glimpse of the relatives who want the things, but don't want the responsibility of caregiving. You may find yourself asking: Why should George get so much of Mom's things when he's done so little? What's fair when distributing a care recipient's possessions? And, how can you best handle the situation? In this month's issue, we'll offer ideas on how to manage distribution of family possessions. As the family caregiver, you'll be in the thick of things--literally. Index of Articles Needed: Honest Discussions About Who Wants What Top Ten Tips for Decision Making Tips for Talking About Inheritance The Emotions Behind the Possessions |
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