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Caring for Parents

Read the blogs of those who care for their parents.

Today is a Day of Discovery


(Editor’s Note: We welcome TJ to our blogging team today. You can connect with TJ on her profile page: @tjcrn.) Today I discovered, realized, that my mom of 53 years who lives with me does not remember me at all. Oh, yes, there have been glimpses of this day coming, but to spend hours reminding her who I am just to realize that her last words before going to sleep are, Are you a Catholic? ...

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A Changed Man


When I was 22, my parents took a trip to Ireland, leaving myself, one older brother and my younger sister with the house to ourselves. Soon after they left, I tried to back the car of out of garage and succeeded in positioning the car right into the side of the house. My brother finally had to come out and move the car, which left a deep dent in the house siding. My sister and ...

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Learning to Say Goodbye


Learning to say goodbye to someone may sound easy, but from a personal, even intimate standpoint, I know it’s not an easy thing. This week I have wrestled with saying goodbye to a lifelong friend of mine. My friend Mitch was never a “boyfriend” of mine, he was a boy who was a friend. That’s a little different. We grew up in the same small town where everyone knows each other. We attended the same ...

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I read The Dance of Anger, about how women have trouble expressing anger and how their anger is often not taken seriously anyway. Mom has always held in anger, and she always taught me to do the same: the things you say can hurt people, and you can’t take back the damage you do. I think she got yelled at in anger as a kid and really suffered from it. So I grew up never ...

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Rainy Days and Life Questions


I love rainy days. It has been a while here in New England. Winter was brutal and spring? Well, spring has been nonexistent until this week. We went from 30 degrees to 80 and didn’t stop in between. But this week has been more like it, seasonable as they say, but dry. We haven’t had any rain so today is special. I like the quiet of the house on a rainy day. The puppy is ...

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Sorry I Went MIA


Hello everyone. How is everyone? I have missed you all so much. I have had a very miss month. I got done with my classes for this year. I got a 4.0 grade point average so straight A’s.  I am so happy. What is the hardest is having enough time to go visit my parents in the nursing home. They went to the nursing home in October. My mom has had such a hard time ...

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The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree


They call it The Hospice Effect. That’s when a person begins receiving Hospice services, and shows a remarked improvement in condition. I think it’s like the Parable of the Barren Fig Tree, which was going to get the ax for lack of bearing fruit. A little threat now and then can do a person good. Subconsciously, I bet that’s why my mom is improving. Research says it’s because she’s getting so much more attention. I ...

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I Have a Plan… I Think


Seems like those words keep repeating over and over in my brain. I have a plan… I think. There’s reasons for that unending circle. A lot has been going on lately. One of the reasons I haven’t blogged in ages. But it’s time to start catching up. Whew! Where do I start? Well, for starters we were able to get a hospital bed for Dad. Yes, Medicare would have paid for one BUT you have ...

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Woof-woof, “Leave It”


My sister is in the process of obedience-training an ambitious 6-month-old Australian Shepherd puppy. She is focusing now on the command, “Leave It”. If I could only get my mother, with dementia, to do that.  “NO!” in a shrill voice of alarm doesn’t work, so I’m seeking new options to solve these dilemmas:. Stubborn and persnickety to her core, we fight a daily battle with the wee-weed dirty laundry in the washing machine, waiting for ...

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Oh, Denise Can Do That


Helping my parents means keeping their day running smoothly–whether it be fixing a computer or a cell phone, getting them to family functions and activities, resolving a worry or a fret (they worry and fret a lot). My siblings get involved for the doctors’ appointments, the holidays and the big events (like the surgeries). Each day, though, I do my best to ensure the boat stays afloat. On Saturday, my mom spoke with my brother ...

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