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Donna W’s Blog

Donna W writes about caring for her mom.

Tips For Family and Friends of Caregivers

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Earlier this year, I wrote a blog post called, Invisible People. It addressed how caregivers are seldom, seen…heard from…or thought about. On my blogtalkradio show last week, I talked about this and I included some suggestions for non-caregivers of special things both large and small, that they could do for caregivers to make their day better and let them know they are not invisible. So, I would like to share these suggestions with all of ... Read More »

Concluding Replacement Therapy, Finally!

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11-15-10  Time to finish this blog post!  I have been at this one since August! Have I come to a conclusion, no…do I have a plan set up for replacing all the time and activities of caring for mom when she was here, no….has these past months been therapeutic in anyway, no. So, the purpose of this post?  Apparently it has none, or maybe this is just the result of all the thoughts, and non-moments ... Read More »

And Mom Was Always There

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In my crib, alone at night… wind blowing the curtains, the closet door a fright… Thinking I was all alone, calling out in childish terror… And mom was always there. So many days and nights of illness, bedbound in my early years… Always needing special care… And mom was always there. Traveling across the country, paper bags carried with her… For those unpleasant moments of motion sickness… Wish we had gone by air! And Mom ... Read More »

Rocks And Sticks On The Path

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I am upset, surprisingly and not so surprisingly, very upset. The sad thing is, the only ones who will understand why, are other caregivers, or ex-caregivers. It appears I made a mistake at something I posted online, and it upset the individual it was directed to, which was not my intention. The whole situation came back at me, and I broke down. I realized the request and comment I had made was not inappropriate at ... Read More »

Adult Orphans

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I  posted this on a forum I found the other morning, it was in response to the topic of  caregivers, who have lost both their parents, and now feel like adult orphans. My father passed away in 1969, I was 17. For the past 4 1/2 years, I was my mom’s full-time caregiver as she advanced through the stages of dementia. She passed away the 16th of last month. It is a peculiar feeling to ... Read More »

Sunday at Home…..9-12-10

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Isolation and loneliness just don’t seem to get eradicated; they even intensify in some instances, once your caree is gone. There is even a greater sense of being abandoned. I talked about on my radio show how I didn’t belong anywhere as a caregiver before I got involved with caregiving.com. Now that I am no longer a caregiver that sense of not belonging is again plaguing me. If I am not able to leave the ... Read More »

Just Me…..

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The memorial card I made on Printmaster, the smaller photo card was done through Kodak and inserted in the large card.  I also made photo booklets from hotprints.  If you go on my facebook page, the book is on there and you can look through it.  Only closer family and friends receive the photo books, most receive the memorial card and photo card.  Just thought you all would like to see the memorial tributes I ... Read More »

Replacement Therapy

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Ok, I need everyone’s help here.  I am writing a piece called Replacement Therapy.  I am looking for ideas of what to do to replace all the things I have done for mom these past years, fill those time slots with instructive, creative, supportive alternatives. Remember, there are emotional connections worked in there, habits of doing specific things at specific times. Restrictions of freedom that have to be broken through. So, anyhow, shoot me some ... Read More »

Waiting…

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I have been posting updates all over, and want to let all of you know who don’t know already.  Mom stopped eating on Friday.  So, we are on a watch.  She is resting comfortably and is peaceful.  It is time.  Goodbyes are being said and soon she will be with Dad and my sisters again. I will still be blogging and still continuing with the blogtalkradio show.  I must keep going with all that has ... Read More »

Coherent

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“To have clarity or intelligibility…understandable”   Coherent. This morning when I went in to get mom ready for the morning, she was motioning at me and so I moved closer, turning.  She fussed with the hem of my shirt which must have been “not perfect” according to her way of seeing things.  I looked at her and chuckled and said thank you and continued on about the business at hand.  I looked at her again, ... Read More »

Prayer for Mom….and Me….

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Mom has been very congested since yesterday.  No food today, only sleeping.  Don’t think I will get her meds in either if she won’t eat.  Oxygen has been brought should we need it.  Running a low temp.  Nurse came last night and twice today, coming tomorrow.  She was so hot this morning between the temp and a faulty pump on her air bed that was putting out too much warm air.  That is replaced now. ... Read More »

Embarking on Another Adventure!

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I am embarking on another adventure in the land of caregiving. It seems that one of the things, almost the primary thing, that helps me through each day and into the next, is when I have a purpose and project to work on. These past months it has been such a struggle to stay “up”. I get lonely and bored, feeling without purpose and not being able to utilize the skills I have, which is ... Read More »

The 2Ps (Warning! Unpleasant Reading!)

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The following is a post from caregiving.com by Denise Brown on Incontinence.   It is a good intro to what I want to share on the topic. How Do You Deal With Incontinence? About 18 years ago (wow!), I helped friends care for an 81-year-old woman named Evie. I can remember managing her incontinence like it was yesterday. Incontinence has a way of staying with you. She wore Depends during the day, which she hated. The ... Read More »

Picnics, Parades, Parties

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I have written about how even though this is my favorite time of  year, it is also my worst time.  This is the season of picnics and parades and outdoor parties.  We do get invites, but often the work involved to for both of us to attend is just too much.  Setting up one or more sitters for mom so that we can go to a gathering, and not watch the time to rush back ... Read More »

Sam…For Such a Time as This

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Samson, strong and mighty, roars like a lion. Sam was born with a curved spine, his development was behind his brother and sisters.  He was a scraggly little tumbleweed looking thing running around the floor. And then, Samson grew, and he grew, and he grew. He is so handsome and has a thick, plush coat. He received lots of love and attention when he was tiny, so he is kind of spoiled now, but so sweet. Look at  ... Read More »

Calling on Family of Caregivers!

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I am calling upon the caregiving family for help with a new blog I am working on.   It will be another Soap Box sound off.  I am writing about  how some of us caregivers use humorous statements to address certain situations that are going on in our caregiving day.  These statements are often not funny to the non-caregiver, or maybe even  another caregiver.  They are ways to vent.  So, I am looking for these kind of ... Read More »

Summertime is Calling

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Summertime is calling….but not to me. Barbecues are being enjoyed all around me to see. Soaking up sunshine at beaches Warm breezes caressing as they picnic at parks Parades of the present, reminding of parades past Brief glimpses of fireworks from the back door No point in wanting to see more… Festivals, I don’t like crowds, and I don’t like noise.. but I remember a tasty turkey drumstick.. would like just one more? Inside is where ... Read More »

My Sherberty Display to Help Me Feel Better and Move Ahead

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Looks yummy doesn’t it, all bright and summery!  A pick me up I put together, I think on Sunday…days have been rather blended! I am going to attempt to backwards journal some of what has transpired the last few weeks, starting with today! I had my first visit with the chiropractor this morning.  My neck has been pinching nerves for several weeks, causing much discomfort in my left shoulder and arm.  It became increasingly more difficult ... Read More »

Donna’s Soap Box!

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SOAP BOX – 1 PARENTING YOUR PARENT Ok! Drum roll please, getting up on my soap box finally! I want to present my opinion on a subject that causes me irritation by those of differing opinions! However at the end of this post I will invite those of both views to express their opinions. The subject is that there are individuals, specifically caregivers, who feel that to use the term “Parenting Your Parent” is offensive ... Read More »

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

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Well, I did not write a blog on Easter like I wanted to, it was the 4 year ‘anniversary’ of becoming mom’s full time caregiver.  I think because it stirred up too many emotions to write about it, at least not on that day.  I did however do some thought wandering back to those first days, weeks, and months a sort of retrospective, woulda - coulda - shoulda, type of thinking.  Looking at who I was, who mom ... Read More »