On Friday’s episode of Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, encouraged us to take steps today to plan for our tomorrow. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.)

Our discussion focused on saving for a dream or a vision. Perhaps it’s a small business. Your own home. A European vacation. Saving involves a financial plan but also includes saving physically and emotionally. You save physically by eating well and exercising. You save emotionally by creating and nurturing a support system.

You may feel: “I am saving myself for tomorrow. When caregiving ends, I can concentrate on myself.” That’s not saving—that’s withholding.

If you wait until caregiving ends, you’ve wasted, rather than saved, for tomorrow. You wasted the time you could have used toward achieving your goal. Saving involves small steps which ultimately net a big result. Five dollars a day doesn’t seem like much. In 10 years, it’s a significant amount of money. And, one small step each week (reading a book, taking a class, keeping current on trends) toward making your vision your reality may seem like no big deal. In two years, the knowledge base you’ve built will be invaluable.

So, this month, we challenge you to start saving. In the comments section, tell us about your dream and the small steps you’ll take this month to put yourself on the path toward living your dream.

Don’t serve time, make time serve you. ~ Willie Sutton

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During our discussion, Bette shared two goals she has for 2010:

1. Leaving the house to enjoy time with her husband and her children without taking along the guilt of leaving her mom with respite care

2. Taking horseback riding lessons, a hobby she loved when she was younger.

Bette also shared her plan as she works to leave behind the guilt: When she leaves, she’ll tell herself that she can take care of whatever happens while she’s gone when she returns. Her desire—to enjoy the time she has with her husband and her kids—will become her focus while she’s out.

Her goals are terrific–ones that we all can embrace to make our own. So, share your thoughts in our comments section: What can you do to leave the guilt behind? And, what one hobby that you loved can you integrate back into your life?

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What a great idea!

So, our challenge to you today is let go of what no longer works for you. It sounds easy, but sometimes holding on, even to something or someone which no longer honors or serves you, can be addictive. It can become the story we tell about ourselves. The challenge in letting go is letting yourself be someone new.

It’s a challenge, but you can do it.

So, today it’s our own Good Riddance Day. What would you like to say good riddance to? We don’t have a shredder or sledge hammer, but you can leave behind your pain, disappointments, bad memories, traumatic experiences and unhelpful emotions in our comment section. It’s a great way to start our New Year.

So, simply complete this sentence: I want to say good riddance to:

Image via Wikipedia

(Editor’s Note: We launched this challenge in November and have extended it into December. Move to win!)

It’s hard to do. In your caregiving role, it’s tougher. In the cold months, it can seem impossible.

Which is why our challenge to in December is to move it. Walk, jog, work out to an exercise video–whatever works for you. Commit to moving 30 minutes day, three times a week. Do it for four weeks and you’ll be entered into our drawing for an iPod shuffle and autographed copies of Denise’s books for family caregivers (Take Comfort and The Caregiving Years).

So… stop by here once a week during November and tell us in our Comments Section how you moved. In order to be eligible to win, you must tell us here what you did every week.

We’re given our mind, our body, our heart and today. When you move, you can take care of all four.

For inspiration, view the flash mob dance from Oprah’s September 8 show:

Just because you stay home, though, doesn’t mean you can’t still have some of the fun you’ve reserved to enjoy during that week away.

From now until August 30, take a staycation, even if it only lasts for five minutes. Think you can’t? We’ve got some ideas to help you know you can:

–buy a lounge chair and sit in your backyard in your bathing suit;

–stay in a local hotel for one night;

–make Coppertone SPF 15 your favorite new perfume;

–soak your feet in the inflatable kiddy pool you resurrect in your backyard;

–visit a tourist attraction in your home town;

–have a bar-b-cue (be sure to invite me);

–join the neighborhood kids in a game of Ghosts in the Graveyard.

Do something you would normally do on vacation. Just do it when you’re at home or close to home.

Then, take a picture and post it on our Facebook fan page by Sunday, August 30. We’ll choose a random winner, who will receive a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate–because a good book can be the cheapest get-away you can take.

We’ll announce the winner on Monday, August 31.

What does Caregiving look like to you?

Caregiving has its own energy and seems, at times, to take shape as the Elephant in the Room. It certainly seems to have its own personality; at times, crabby, other times, strong and sincere.

So, draw, or paint, or sketch your portrait of Caregiving. Or, take a photo that represents what Caregiving looks like to you. Or, create a vision from Legos, wood, or any other material that’s handy.

Send a picture of what you’ve created to art@caregiving.com. We’ll post your creations on the site. One of the lucky submitters will receive a journal decorated by Heather Short, a family caregiver to her mother, and autographed copies of Denise’s books (“The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey” and “Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers”).

During our discussion on saving, I issued a challenge: Commit to saving a certain amount every week (five cents, five dollars, five hundred dollars–it’s the commitment, not the amount that matters) and tell us your tips toward finding the extra cash to save.

Ellen offered this tips as we take this challenge:

1. Enlist the help and involvement of family. Tell them your goal; ask them to commit to a goal as well. Share ideas and suggestions on how to find those extra few pennies every week to toss into the piggy bank.

2. Commit to giving a certain percentage of your savings to others who may need help. You may choose to give 10% every quarter, 15% every six months, 20% every year. Again, it’s not the amount, but the commitment.

Take our challenge! Share your savings plan with us, keep us posted on your progress. And, tell us what tips worked really well to help you save your found money.

My commitment? I’m going to save $10 every week. And, I’ve committed to being debt-free as of August 1.

To thank you for taking our challenge, we’ll give one lucky saver a copy of Ellen’s book, Great with Money, A Woman’s Guide to Prosperity (go to page 4 of the store).

Let’s bank it!

• My care recipient has more pressing needs than I, so my self-care must take a back seat to my care recipient’s.
• I’ll take care of myself if I have the time.
• I have too much to do to think about myself.

You can see how these rules can limit as well as harm. Then, we talked about creating new rules that reflect the importance of self-care, such as:

• I provide the best care I can to my care recipient. During the day, I devote as much time as I can to activities and relationships important to me.
• I balance caring for my care recipient with caring for myself.

After suggesting a few new rules, I asked the group for feedback. How did these sound?

Selfish, a participant said. She proceeded to explain: Because of her husband’s terminal illness, she can’t imagine spending any time away from him–being with him is what’s most important.

Ah!, I said. You just described your values as they relate to your caregiving role: Your value is to spend as much time as possible with your care recipient. You know that time may be limited so it’s critical you spend the time you have together.

I offered this as a possible rule for her:

• I take care of myself because I want to be in good health so I can enjoy every moment I have with my husband.

You hear this all the time: You must take care of yourself. It’s true, but it’s also true that how you take care of yourself must align with your current caregiving values. And, as your caregiving role changes, so will your caregiving values. For instance, when you first begin to help your care recipient, you may value the time you have away from your care recipient. In this case, your self-care rule may be:

• I help my care recipient every evening. When I’m not helping my care recipient, I focus on my own relationships, needs and goals.

During an intense caregiving period (when your care recipient has the flu, for instance, or is recovering from a set-back), you may value the home health aide you’ve hired. Your rule may be:

• Because of the pressure I feel in my caregiving role, I am taking breaks while the home health aide cares for my care recipient. My breaks are important to my endurance, so I will schedule the home health aide for three days a week for four hours at a time.

And, during those times when you feel trapped by caregiving, your self-care rule may be:

• I have formed a team who can provide what my care recipient needs in order to be safe and cared for. Because of the team, I can take regular time away from my caregiving role. I cherish these breaks and know they are good for me and for my care recipient.

When your care recipient is experiencing heightened anxiety, your rule may be:

• It’s important for me to be available to my care recipient in order to relieve his anxiety. I will plan my breaks to write in my journal and listen to my favorite music when my care recipient naps and sleeps.

Your self-care rules work in tandem with your caregiving mission statement. And, your rules and your mission statement are yours to create. They are individualized just for you.

This is your caregiving challenge: Take some time to write your self-care rule, which reflects what you value right now. Then, commit to sticking to your rule for one week. After the week, review the rule. What worked? What didn’t? What would you like to revise?

Share your rule with us in our Comments section and then keep us posted during the week on how well you do. We’ll choose one of our challenge participants to receive a copy of my book, The Caregiving years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey. Thanks for playing!!