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Home > Author Archives: Meryl (page 2)

Author Archives: Meryl

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Worried about Mom

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Lately Mom hasn’t been herself. She hasn’t looked that great and seems to be out of sorts. \ She seems very non-focused and I am finding that I have to repeat myself more than usual. Last week I had a little scare and wound up in the emergency room. The left side of my face blew up and was distorted.  At first I thought I had a stroke.  It turned out to be an abcess ... Read More »

Back from Vacation and Not Liking Reality

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It’s been two weeks since I have been back from vacation and it has been really hard knowing that I am back to reality and not wanting to face it. The minute I stepped into my house, reality smacked me in the face. This is always why they say you need a vacation from your vacation! This vacation was the best thing that I did! I almost didn’t go because I really couldn’t afford it ... Read More »

Mother’s Day

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Today was a beautiful day. My brother and I took Mom out for dinner. Usually when the three of us get together there are always arguments but today was different. We just seemed to go along with everything and it was nice. Felt good to be a family even if it was for a short time. Mom looked wonderful. She was all smiles and looked great. I felt thankful for having her here to celebrate another ... Read More »

Needing to Vent

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In the past month I have packed up the old place and moved into the new place. While I am still in shock how I lost everything as well as so much money, I am starting to love my new place and feel settled in. Closing the old place was hard since the landlord and his wife were very uncaring people but I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that karma will play it’s ... Read More »

New Beginnings

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Last time I wrote I mentioned about my situation with my landlord.  It’s been a few weeks or maybe even a month since then and there have been some changes, some good, some not good.   I have been hysterical crying over how much I have lost over this past month.  I have suffered physically, emotionally and financially.  On top of this I have to make sure Mom is taken care of and be strong for ... Read More »

Trying to Stay Strong

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These past few weeks have been horrible. For over a week now I have been living at a hotel across from my home because of a problem that could have been avoided had the owner acted timely. I was bit by something and had welts all over my body. I have been to the doctor three times since then and  have been on four cortizone pills a day, benadryl, claritin, ointments and creams. Between the ... Read More »

Setting Goals

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I have been doing some soul searching again for the past few weeks. There have been a lot of changes in my life recently, some good and some not so good. Why is it always easier to focus on the negative then the positive? Today I accomplished a goal that I never thought I would do. Over a year ago after being diagnosed with Bradycardia, something inside me snapped and I decided to lose weight ... Read More »

Is There a Black Cloud Over my Head?

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This past week I have been adjusting to my new life by myself. It’s a little akward but I believe everything happens for a reason. I thought about the medication that was prescribed to me and whether I should take it. A lot of cons more then pros. Monday I was feeling sorry for myself. So many overwhelming things coming at me all at once that, when I came home, I sat here and I ... Read More »

What a Grueling Day Today

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Today was my appointment with the new cardiologist. I got there at 8:15 for my appointment and was taken fairly quickly. I explained to the doctor about my previous bout with Bradycardia and started to cry. He told me that he did not think I needed a pacemaker and that it sounded more like anxiety (what a shock). He also told me that in order to figure out what was going on, I needed to ... Read More »

Taking Care of Me for a Change

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This past week I really haven’t been feeling well at all. I haven’t been myself for awhile now but this week something seemed different. Maybe it’s all the stress that I have been through but finally I decided to make an appointment with the cardiologist. A year ago December I was told I had Bradycardia which is a low heart rate and may need a pacemaker. I took my blood pressure here in the house ... Read More »

Reaching Out

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It’s been almost a month since I have posted here. I’ve fallen into the trap of shutting down again and do not like the way I feel at all. Today I finally decided I needed to reach out and I have also set up a coaching session with Denise for tomorrow. I have been working six days a week now plus staying late almost every night which adds to the stress level. Last week Mom ... Read More »

Support is Helpful in So Many Ways

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Last week I blogged about what was going on in my world and how I was having a hard time with everything. I wasn’t sure if Denise could help me figure things out but decided to email her and explain my situation. Sometimes it’s not easy admitting that you need help but when things pile up, the best thing to do is seek it. I had a coaching session with Denise that helped me look ... Read More »

Checking In

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Since the holidays I have been in a funk. So much has been going on in my life that I don’t know which end is up.  I am trying to get my life in order and now on top of all this I am working six days a week which gives me even less time to myself although it does keep my mind busy. Mom has been doing wonderful. Her blood pressure has been great ... Read More »

Emotions and the Holidays

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There are some people who don’t show their emotions at all and there are people who show their emotions all the time. I am the kind of person who shows my emotions all the time. Everyone who knows me knows when I am having a bad day. Those are the days that nothing goes right and I try to handle everything at once. For the most part Mom has been doing better. This past week ... Read More »

Resolutions

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Usually around the last week of the year we all have our New Years resolutions and what we want to achieve for the New Year. Around this time every year my resolution has always been to lose weight. I achieved that this past year and joined a program to change my lifestyle and eat healthier. I have several New Year resolutions for 2012. The first one is to have peace in my heart and to give my ... Read More »

Meryl Christmas

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I know this year there is a lot to be thankful for this holiday season. I saw Mom today and she wants me to find out about getting her into an assisted living. She feels she is too young to be in a nursing home. We have been down this road before and I remember most assisted livings would not accept her because she cannot change her own colostomy bag. On Monday I will make some calls ... Read More »

Hanukkah and Mom

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Tonight marks the first night of Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights. After work I went to see Mom to spend some time with her. I still have not been feeling that great but decided I would go at least for a little while. Mom couldn’t wait till I got there. She was all smiles. Last week Mom said, “Your Mother is back” and lately I have been feeling how true that is. It’s scary because ... Read More »

Relationships and Caregiving

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I haven’t been feeling that well lately both physically and emotionally and decided to take a break from things and do a little soul searching. Mom is still doing well and I am basking in the glory of it. I am trying to deal with everything one day at a time and enjoy the moment without being fearful of what may happen since that is what I am used to doing. I learned that relationships are ... Read More »

A Miracle

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This weekend I am going to name “Miracle Weekend” as it is the first weekend in I can’t even remember that Mom spent two days going out of the home! Mom called this morning saying she wanted me and my boyfriend to pick her up at the home and take her out for dinner. I couldn’t believe that she felt good enough to go out again! My boyfriend’s birthday is next Sunday and I told ... Read More »

Raincheck

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Two weeks ago Mom and I were supposed to have our girls day out to spend time together outside of the nursing home. Unfortunately she was hospitalized then and couldn’t make it so we decided to take a “raincheck” for another day. Today was that day. Mom looked wonderful. I get nervous saying that she looks good because every time I do, something happens but I am not thinking about that today. For today I ... Read More »

Never a Dull Moment

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Last Friday Mom was released from the hospital. It seems that day at 3 p.m. we found out her Medicaid was not recertified. We were under the impression that the prior nursing home had taken care of everything and we never received anything in the mail stating she needed to be recertified. Apparently it needed to be done in May. I have no idea who has been picking up the costs since then and we ... Read More »

Bottling up the Happy Moments

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Life can change at any given moment. Mom has been doing so well. Thanksgiving was the best that I have seen her in a long time. She walked with the walker and was able to walk a little on her own. Friday came and she sounded wonderful.  She went to dialysis last night and said she wasn’t in any pain which usually she has cramping after and that we could have our nails done tomorrow ... Read More »