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Home > Author Archives: Meryl (page 4)

Author Archives: Meryl

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Stress, Stress and More Stress

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Hi all, hope everyone is doing well. I had to do some venting as I am on extreme overload right now and having a hard time with dealing with life at the moment. I have no clue where I left off here last time but Mom was hospitalized  over a week ago. The rehab was concerned because Mom has been having bowel movement issues and due to her surgery last year, they needed to figure out the problem. ... Read More »

Scary Stuff

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Since my last post things have been so crazy and now after tonight I am definitely scared. Mom’s blood pressure has not been stable since last week. It has been way over 200 almost every day and they have not been able to stabilize it. Last month I had given the rehab Mom’s medication list that she was taking at home. Her blood pressure was beautiful when she was here. According to the rehab and ... Read More »

Constant Changes and Confusion

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I had to get this post in to vent and I’m sorry I haven’t had the time to respond to emails and others posts but please bear with me until my busy season is over in a few weeks. Everything was all settled with Mom. I was supposed to bring her home next weekend but now that’s not the case. I spoke to the social worker at the rehab and they won’t release her on ... Read More »

Checking In and an Update on Mom

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Hi all, I hope this finds everyone and their families well. I had a little much needed time to myself and figured I would check in. Mom is still in the rehab since her fall over a  month ago. She seems to be in good spirits. I don’t get to see her except on the weekends since I am very busy at work and decided it was too much for me to go back and forth since it’s not close ... Read More »

Stressed Out and Trying to Handle It All

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Life has a funny way of throwing everything at you at the same time and I feel like I have to be on all bases and catching every ball. Last week I went to see Mom for the first time in the rehab. She looked calm and relaxed and for once I felt less guilty about the decision to have her stay there. From my standpoint she was being given the care that she really needed. Something ... Read More »

Update on Mom

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Mom was moved today from the hospital to the rehab which will now become her permanent residence. I have been trying to be so strong for her but it is so hard to do. My mom was always outgoing and never home. Her health over the years has made her not go outside and withdraw from life. Mom is only 71. When mom was in the hospital, she has become more agitated as well as ... Read More »

It’s Guilt Time….

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I know I haven’t been on much lately as this is my busy season at work. I am on overload with working six days a week and late nights plus taking care of mom and trying to find some time for myself to breathe in between. Please know that even though I haven’t posted, I always hope that all is well with each and every one of you. Tonight I had a minute to breathe ... Read More »

Relationships

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Today I decided to end my relationship with my boyfriend after two years. It is so hard to take care of me and my mom right now that the thought of taking care of him has just been so overwhelming. I have been through so much in the past two years between Mom’s health and my health that I just don’t have the ability to do it anymore. I decided in the next few months ... Read More »

Hearing Aid

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How do you convince someone to get a hearing aid when they are in denial? My mother’s hearing has been getting dramatically worse and it is starting to frustrate me. I have to repeat myself so many times, even when I stand in front of her and she is looking at me talking that I want to scream! When I talk louder she then accuses me of screaming which ends up in a no-win situation. ... Read More »

Making Progress

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This week has been incredibly busy for me. After my talk with Mom last week about making changes, things have been a lot better. Her attitude has been perkier and she looks more like herself. I am hoping  she continues to focus on the positive and not on the negative. Work has been increasingly busy and now my crazy hours begin starting next week which puts me into a 6 day work week and late nights. I ... Read More »

Talking about Change

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Mom has been very upset lately about all the talk about assisted living or a nursing home which was to be expected.  Last night we had several conversations with her about different things and she had her wits about her which was great. Not once did she seem confused or out of it. I decided to have another talk with Mom and this time it was about making changes in her life. I told her that ... Read More »

Today Was a Good Day

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Today I felt more like myself. It’s been awhile since I felt like that. I was able to do what I wanted or needed to do and not feel stressed out. I even had the chance to take a nap. At certain points it felt weird having time to myself  since I am so used to being “on call”. Mom even seemed to be more herself for awhile, too. I was glad that I asked for ... Read More »

New Year/New Beginnings

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Today is a brand new year filled with new beginnings. I have never been happier that 2010 is over.  2010 was not a great year as I spent most of it with my mom in the hospital or a rehab. I am hoping that 2011 is a better year. Last night Mom stayed up with us watching the ball drop. At midnight I kissed her and told her I loved her and that 2011 was ... Read More »

Asking for Help

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Mom felt better this morning after sleeping the night. Part of the battle is watching Mom come home after dialysis and seeing a totally different person. She is already a different person and the hardship is watching her be somewhat lethargic which is not easy to do. I have to keep a brave face when I see her because she is already scared as it is and I don’t want her to see the scared look ... Read More »

How Do You Get Past the Guilt?

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The other night I had a talk with Mom about the assisted living/rehab situation. I cried the whole time I spoke to her wishing my mom would go back to the way she was so it would be so much easier to deal with and not have to make this decision. My brother was supposed to come over for a family meeting which of course he initiated but he took the easy way out and ... Read More »

Admitting Defeat

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The past few days have been very hard. Christmas Eve I had the talk with Mom that if she didn’t want her aide to come Christmas Day that she would have to be a little more independent which she was in agreement with. Ever since Christmas Day, I have been running around like crazy. Today it all hit me very hard. We had company on Christmas Day and I hardly sat down at all. Every ... Read More »

Getting Past the Holidays

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Today I went to see a friend who lost her sister a few months ago. I thought to myself, how can I feel the way I do when so many others are suffering from a loss. Sometimes I feel selfish that I have no right to feel the way I do with my mom. She is still here even though she is not functioning at 100%. Tonight we are having company and I hear everyone ... Read More »

A Little Bit of Hope

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The other day when I came home from work, mom mentioned that she was considering having her procedure reversed.  This is something I have been waiting for since she had the procedure done earlier this year. If mom has this done it means that I will be able to get her into an assisted living which is something I intend to do. Since last week I have been trying to figure out how to lessen my ... Read More »

Girl talk

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Friday night I decided to have a heart to heart talk with Mom. Since our argument this week about mentioning a nursing home, I thought it was time to take a different approach. I explained to Mom that I didn’t think her coming home was the best idea since all she does is sleep and go to the doctors. From time to time she goes to the beauty parlor and that’s about it. If she was in ... Read More »

When It Rains, It Pours

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For the past few days I have been so nervous with my upcoming tests that I haven’t slept well at all. The pressure at home is starting to get overwhelming and my mom seems to need more from me. I find myself getting very short with her which I know I shouldn’t but it’s so hard to do when you are worried about yourself and have to take care of someone else. Sometimes when I ... Read More »

More Waiting and More Stress

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This morning I was supposed to go for the monitor as part of my stress test. I woke up very early and was at my appointment a 1/2 hour early. By the time I was called, the nurse told me the monitor had not been brought back yet from the patient before and they had no idea when it would be back. I was so upset. This waiting and not knowing has been stressful enough ... Read More »

Handling Everything Alone

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Mom usually walks with the walker when the ambulette takes her home from dialysis. The walker has the seat on it.  Tonight when I looked out the window she was being wheeled in as if she was in a wheelchair. It really freaked me out.  The driver asked me to sign a sheet listing her as incoherent. He said she was very weak. I try so hard not to cry but I find myself breaking down a ... Read More »