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Home > Author Archives: Debbie

Author Archives: Debbie

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My Biological Parents passed away in 1985, my Mother committed suicide and my father died in a pilot crash. My sister and I were adopted, it was finalized March 31, 1988, after about 3 yrs in foster care. I'm a mother to three children who have Celiac Disease, and I'm a wife for 10 yrs, my husband is chronically ill/disabled, he was born with Hydrocephalus and Spina Bifida and has had Brain surgeries in 1977, 1982, and Aug 2008. Following the Brain Surgery in 2008, he now deals with a series of auto immune disorders: RA, Insomnia, Chronic Pain and Migraines, Lupus, and Severe Psoriasis. Hurricane Ike hit Texas in September 2008, and we lost our Rental Home and Only Vehicle, which sent our world into a down-word spiral I had a Hysterectomy in June 2008 due to hemorrhaging, then had a Lumpectomy for Breast Cancer in Jan 2010. I’m doing my best for my Family, but I can’t be Super Mom.

Four Months Since Separation – Now Divorced

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As I posted in November 2011, I told my then husband and the person who I took care of the past six years, that I couldn’t be married anymore, and I couldn’t take care of him anymore. As of November 18, 2011 we were separated and he moved out. Feb 3, 2012, our divorce was final Dec 21, 2001 – Feb 3, 2012 – That was over a 10 year marriage, had three children together, ... Read More »

Separation

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I have been unhappy for a long time. I have been pushed away, put down, ignored, turned down, disrespected, and giving all I have, but given nothing back. No appreciation and so much more. I have cared for my husband since 2005, been married since 2001. I gave my all, and gave my heart, but I am not in love with him the way you love someone who are married to and want to share ... Read More »

Daddy Update/Please No ALZ’s

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Tuesday night when I called my mom, my Dad was in ICU on a strong dose of the nitro patch. He was doing better—BP had come down and his pain was subsiding, heart attack was stopped. They were going to do a stress test Wednesday to see if he can be stepped down from the ICU unit or not. He had the heart attack starting Sunday night, he was lifting and carrying too much fire ... Read More »

Daddy Had a Heart Attack/And More

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My Mom called me yesterday about 3:15 my time/central time. She and my dad live in Toas, New Mexico, up in the mountains, so they are an hour behind me. She took my dad to the Toas local hospital and he had a full blown heart attack. They life flighted him to Albuquerque, New Mexico’s Veterans Hospital (VA) Dad arrived at the Veterans hospital about 6:30pm my time and was in critical condition. My Mom ... Read More »

It’s Officially on Paper

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My husband’s appeals court disability judge decision came on paper, the medical records and exams, CT Scans and MRI’s, show more than I ever knew or the disability evaluation doctors never shared for me to know. Claimant has the following disabilities/diseases: Thoracic Spina Bifida-post repair, hydrcepholus – status post – ventriculo peritoneal shunt chronic headaches cervial and lumbar spine degenerative disc disease consisting of Osteophyte at C3 and Spondylolisthesis at L5 mid stage glaucoma severe ... Read More »

Can’t Get Better

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I really need to bounce back and get my energy back, and my body needs to stop betraying me, I don’t have time to be ill and not have my organs functioning properly. I am so exhausted and feel like I have no energy. Got out of the hospital Aug 5th. Doc  wasted my time and didn’t do any tests to see what the bleeding was coming from. My pcp’s colleague on Friday Aug 12th  ... Read More »

Ill Spouse was Approved

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Chuck and I have been fighting since 2007 for SSD, and I got the call from the lawyer on Aug 2nd that my husband was approved. We had been denied 3 times, we were waiting to go to an appeals judge, and that was the last step in the road. Lawyer said sometimes they can push the approval before it goes to the appeals judge, and it just so happens, IS’s case was one of ... Read More »

In Hospital

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I was at the ER on Wed evening and was admitted about 2:15 a.m. on Thursday; I have bleeding in my small intestines/ lower GI. Colonoscopy today, I have Hydronephrosis of my right kidney, and a spot on my liver that showed up on the CT Scan. My liver enzymes on my blood work are way too high. Have IV fluids and IV antibiotics because I have a UTI. My BP is very low for ... Read More »

Prayers for Us

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Please say some prayers that our family can get through this next month, meaning the rest of July and into the middle of August. My last paycheck for my current job is tomorrow, and my salary is considerably deducted because of HR not asking if I wanted insurance premiums taken out, they just did it anyway, to where it is paid up until July 31, 2011. Also, they have a sneaky way of working about ... Read More »

Job Offer

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I have been working at my current company for 4 and a half years. I work in Oil and Gas as a senior cartographer/drafter for offshore Oil Drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and offshore Africa, and other over seas work. I interviewed with Shell Oil Company on June 28th for a position in their drafting department, but doing on land block lease sales, where I draft their maps for when they are drilling for ... Read More »

Thank You

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Thank you all for being such wonderful and caring friends. I haven’t been able to get on here much, or even catch up on all the blogs posted, but I hope things calm down soon, and I can come in to say hello. Just so you know, I am thinking of everyone. (((hugs))) Read More »

Family Drama – Texas to New Mexico

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Chuck and I met on June 17, 2001, and will be married 10 years on Dec 21, 2011. We never had a wedding, just did the justice of the peace at the courthouse. Neither set of parents could make it either, so we Renewed our Vows and had a small wedding on Saturday, June 18, 2011. My parents drove down from New Mexico, my aunt and uncle from Florida, my sister-in-law from Missouri, my mother-in-law ... Read More »

When Did I Become the Child?

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So…….ya ready for this? I am sure it will seem like I am just over reacting, but this is how I feel, or how this situation makes me feel. Apparently – I am incapable of “relaxing” or “chilling out” according to Ill Husband. I try to work on it, but it seems it is impossible? Last week I come home and already shared about the “Spontaneous” thing, well the same week, just a different day, ... Read More »

7-Year-Old Princess

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My little Princess, Amber Renee, is seven years old today! I was 21 yrs old in June 2004, and had just come home from the Air Force in Sept 2003. I didn’t know I was pregnant with our second child/first girl till January 2004. My body was still in shock from the physical demands of Basic Training even though I had always been an athlete, so the normal signs you look for with being pregnant ... Read More »

Invisible

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Went upstairs last night after coming home from work. Husband was not in his usual spot downstairs and the kids were at their stations either coloring or making a craft. After saying hello to the kids, I go upstairs and find hubby in the bath tub, tried to initiate some type of intimacy, but he just wanted to lay there, barely opening his eyes. I just get up and go downstairs to start dinner for ... Read More »

Motherhood Started 9 Years Ago

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Nine years ago today I was 19-years-old, Chuck was 25 -years-old and he had not become ill/disabled yet. We had been married just a few days shy of six months. I gave birth to and we became parents to our very first child, our only boy, Dylan Alexander I was a senior in high school and had just attended my Senior Prom six days prior. High School Graduation was June 1, 2002, so eight days ... Read More »

Boring Mom…Always a “Catch”

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There’s a Mom, who everyone knows, her kids are her life. She strives to give them the most normal childhood possible, but Daddy’s always sick and they never understand why, Mommy works all the time, and is always tired, the kids always hear: “No we can’t do this,” “Not this time, but I will make it up to you.” You have Dylan who will be 9 on May 24th, Amber who will be 7 on ... Read More »

My Three Children Have Celiac Disease

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As you have read, I’m a spousal caregiver to my husband. However, in September of 2010, I found out that my three children have Celiac Disease. My son was in 3rd Grade, my Daughter in 1st, and my youngest daughter starting her first year in pre-school. Celiac Disease is an allergy to gluten, so anything containing rye, wheat, barley, or malt in the ingredients. It’s found in just about anything you can think of, such ... Read More »

Don’t Judge the Book by Its Cover

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I wrote this for people to read when they don’t bother to think about the lives of spousal caregivers, or those who care for their sick loved ones. Think about this: “You don’t look sick” answer: “No, I don’t, maybe not to you” It’s hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It’s a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Just to name a few: ... Read More »

Social Security Disability – Troubled System

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When we applied for my husbands disability in late 2007, no one ever contacted us. (Online portion wasn’t submitted, like it was supposed to be, their fault). So I filled everything out again in mid 2009; we weren’t contacted till January 2010. He goes for the SS Doctor evaluation in February 2010, and he falls in front of the doctor during the balance and neurosensory tests. We receive the first denial letter in June 2010. ... Read More »

Caring for a Young Husband: The Rundown

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Hello My Fellow Caregivers, I’m Debbie, I’m 28-years-old and my husband, Chuck, is 34. We married in December 2001 and he became ill in 2005. He was born with Hydrocephalus and Spina Bifida in March 1977, which are brain and spine birth defects. Hydro is fluid around the brain; in his case, it was due to the spina bifida. (Spina bifida means he was born with a hole in his back, his spine and all ... Read More »