Journey Ending

My Caregiving Friends, I’ve been putting off writing/posting this entry because it is a difficult message. The majority of my caregiving journey ended after a rapid and unexpected decline in my mother’s health over the last month. Her decline ended with her death on the morning of Monday, August 16th, and we laid her to rest on Saturday, August 21st. As I had promised, I was holding her hand when she...

Hospice is a Blessing

My mother woke up, to some degree, from her Ativan-induced sleep. I think it will be several more days before she’ll be back to where she was. Sadly that seems to be less each time we have one of these setbacks. Hospice has indicated this will be consistent until the very end – have setback, lose ground, setback, lost ground, etc, days to weeks is what she has been given – I’m still in the...

Crisis Management – Argh

And so…many changes since I last posted. I am doing less caregiving, per se, as Mom has gone on continuous care with hospice for the 2nd time – pain crisis. That has evolved into a terminal restlessness diagnosis – which as I found researching with my dad, is about 2-4 weeks out from death, or per hospice, “if that.” Mom was up all night last night – trying to get out of bed...

Writing from the Train

I only have 2 more stops to get my note in here so it will be VERY quick – especially for me Things are dire in my household. Mom is squarely on hospice, as is my dad. Mom just woke up from a 5 day encephalopathic coma; we decided to treat at home this time BECAUSE she is on hospice. I’m on my way home from work – I’ve not actually seen her yet. She is talking, walking and eating, so...

Waiting, Wishing, Trusting

Good morning all. I thought I’d provide an update on what’s going on in my Caregiving life. My nephew is still here and my Mom is in hospital. I have to return to work tomorrow after a somewhat restful week off. Work is still shaky as my 36-month role is ending 22 months early. I am NOT going to worry about it though because I know it will be taken care of – I will be taken care of. I just need to follow...

The More Things Change the More They Stay the Same…

The more things change the more they stay the same… Hospice hasn’t changed anything yet. Granted, Mom is not officially on hospice yet – they are still evaluating how and what services can be provided without an interruption in the care Mom is now receiving. Gratefully, she has been ‘with it’ for the last couple of weeks and I’ve not had the physical stress of taking care of her in addition to the...

Where is Hope?

Good evening friends. Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions from both your heart and from your life experiences. Honestly, it is comforting to realize that I am not completely alone on this dark road. You know, one of the most difficult to process for me has been the loss of hope; it must one of those things you don’t realize you have until something diminishes or destroys it. It must have been at...

An Unchanging Message

It’s been a week now since my Mom’s primary care physician broke the news to Mom that she’s at the end of her 15 year fight; the last 8 of which have been full-court-press. Being the skeptic that I am, I escalated the issue to her specialist at the transplant institute. I was able to get the specialist and the primary care docs to talk – at the last minute, so a consistent message could be delivered to...

Harsh Realities

I’ve finally had a couple of full night’s sleep this weekend. Still tired, but not exhausted as I have been over the last month or so. We had someone from Hospice out Thursday to let us know what services are offered for my mom – it was a good conversation and intellectually everything made sense. A few hours later, however, my mother and I shared our first cry about her condition and the position in...

Early Thursday morning – 6/17

Hello fellow caregivers. In case you’re not familiar with me, my name is Derek, one of the occasional family bloggers here on Caregiving.com. I work full time and take care of both of my parents: mom lives with me and dad is on hospice in a nursing home. I’ve not participated for several months because of an always challenging and often overwhelming set of circumstances; not unique to this group...

Am I an overwhelmed dutiful son, or have I actually become lazy?

Hello Everyone! I’m going to share something about myself that I’m sure you have never experienced – I am lazy. There, I said it. Honestly, this really has been weighing on me lately and has started bothering me – the church would call it ‘convicting me’, a great deal. I look around my trashed house, my garden in disarray (just as the season is starting), the painting that needs to be...

Extreme Extremes

Fellow Caregivers – I hope this finds you all well; emotions balanced and your mood light. Are you strong in mind, body and spirit? Most days I am able to exist in these places; at least for some part of the day. As in most things, success is realized on some days more so than others. In reality, I doubt this differs much from the average Joe/Jane – BUT, I do feel like my extremes are, well, much...

Quick Update

I’ve been having such a rough time lately but things somewhat smoothed out for a few hours today at least.  I’ve not been able to blog – when I get a chance, I find myself asleep in my recliner with my laptop on my lap. Both of my parents’ conditions are worsening.  If there is a transplant out there for my Mom I feel we are getting much closer to it.  I fear if she doesn’t get one...

Faith, My Rock

Hello everyone. I hope you have been able to enjoy your holiday season this year. I am convinced that all of these moments are precious. Mine has been challenging, to say the least, but I think the duration has been appropriate and memories have been made; something that has become very important to me. Now, between Mom’s hospitalizations, an incredibly intense work project in a new job, getting ready and...

Derek’s Blog Party Post

Hi All, I hope your progressive blog posting partying is going well! In my last entry my mother was still in the hospital expecting to be released the next day. When the next day arrived another ailment or blood work problem would follow and keep us there one more day. Rinse and repeat – 9 days. • She was admitted with a high ammonia level and hepatic encephalopathy. • Once that was pretty much under...

Take the Opportunity – Update 1

Friday, November 27, 2009 4:11:07 AM ________________________________________ Thanks everyone for your well wishes. My mom is doing much better and is in fact getting on my nerves – so that’s a good sign! The problem now is she feels better but her body hasn’t quite caught up, so she wants to do things that can hurt her (cause her to fall, pull out an IV, etc.) and I have to get on to her. ...

Take the Opportunity

Happy Thanksgiving fellow Caregivers! Unfortunately I may actually end up having pizza for Thanksgiving Dinner this year; something I have battled with my sister for years to keep OFF of the holiday table (I mentioned this little tradition in a post recently). I am sitting in the hospital taking care of my mom and we were unable to travel to our home town to spend time with family this year. I am battling all of...

Family Day

I spent some time with both of my parents today – it was ‘family day’ at the memory care home where my dad lives. It was interesting to see probably five times the number of people there as usual (there was free food). Actually, all of the commotion got on my nerves – I guided us back to the sanctity of dad’s room, counter to the activity at hand! Mom has had some challenges this...

Failure Fear

Fellow caregivers, I was recently blessed to remain employed with my current employer as a role was found for me two days before my last day.  Although this is normal course of business where I work, having the added caregiving dimension made it interesting, to say the least.  Actually, I believe this was merely a test of faith for me, and I am happy to say that I passed!  There were moments of internal anxiety...

New Blogger Introduction – Derek

Hello All, Well I am honored to be adding my thoughts and experiences to this wonderful website from which I’ve drawn enlightenment, reassurance, and belonging during one of the most challenging seasons of my life.  I’ve never blogged before, nor have I really followed a blog - so  please handle with care! I’m copy/pasting my introduction email below - it explains my situation and seems...