Messages from the Past

I’ve been going through bookshelves and drawers and I found a notebook that my father wrote down odds and ends in. Amongst the things he wrote I found some messages that he wrote to my mum on anniversaries and birthdays. This one was written on mum’s 70th birthday: The years have gone The leaves driven by The winds of Time. Where indeed is yesteryear When we were so young? Gone, gone. Faded we may be, the...

December 16

Yesterday we gave away some of mum’s things to a philanthropic association called São Cotolengo. We gave away her wheelchair, her bath chair, and the geriatric diapers. They were very glad to receive these things. People ask me if we have adjusted to mum’s not being here. I think “Good grief, mum died just a week ago. No, I have not adjusted”. I guess I am finding out how insensitive some...

December 10

Mum passed away suddently on the 8th. She seemed fine that day and when I left for work in the morning she was eating her breakfast as usual. Throughout the day everything was normal. Then at around 4:30 p.m. she went limp and that was that. My daughter called the ambulance and they did all the procedures to resuscitate her, but to no avail. When I got home, after driving like a maniac across town, Mum had already...

December 7

This is one of my mangers (presépios) from my collection. I’ve put a few out this Christmas, all acquired in different ways and places. My daughter and I went out and bought a small artificial tree and covered it with the decorations we have collected over the years. We’re happy with it and put on the lights every evening. There are some decorations on it that are from when I was a teenager, like the...

November 28

We finally gave mum antibiotics because her chest seemed to always be full. It helped and she seemed to get quite a bit better, then her feet began to swell tremendously. We took her to the doctor on Tuesday who prescribed a diuretic twice a day for two days, and then once a day from then on. This has gotten her feet down to size again. The doctor also asked for several blood tests and an ecocardiogram to see if...

November 12

I got back from the town I was working in on Tuesday night and noticed mum’s chest was full. I bought Prelone for her to take and Clenil Compositum to put in the aerosol. She’s been doing aerosol 3 times a day, since Wednesday. She still has a full chest but it is very loose. After the aerosol, she coughs and up comes phlegm. It’s not greenish or stinky, which would mean infection. Nor does she...

November 5th

I’m just popping in here today to post mum’s newest doings. She’s singing – in a very loud raucous voice (she has lost her singing voice). The words aren’t clear either, but I think they are the old hymns she liked, judging by the rhythm - Guide Me oh Thou Great Jehovah, Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, The Old Rugged Cross and so on. Unfortunately I don’t have a CD of old...

October 30, 2010 – A Panorama of the Long Journey

I have been going over the past years in my mind and remembered that two years ago, in October, mum was in the hospital for a colonoscopy. That was when mum was diagnosed as having diverticulitis. During the days when mum was in the hospital, coincidentally, the electric wires to our house were stolen and we woke up without any electricity. As well, my stove caught fire internally and I had to rush out and buy a...

October 3

The weather has been hot and dry. Mum has suffered a lot but the two helpers are really good at getting mum to drink lots of juice and eat regularly. She has her 2 soups a day plus more solid food and this way we have been able to keep her healthy. It’s a constant battle because sometimes she doesn’t want to have the soup or drink the juice and you have to keep on insisting. Mum is also slowly losing...

September 10

Mum is over her crisis, but we’re still not sure what it was or what caused it. She didn’t want to eat Monday or Tuesday. We got about 1 litre of sustenance into her on Monday via syringes while she was sleeping. She sucks away at the syringe in her sleep. Tuesday, the same kind of treatment. I was discouraged by Tuesday night when I looked through the glass doors from where I was watering the grass and...

September 5th

Yesterday, which is house cleaning day, mum was handed the squeedgy and with the aid pushing her wheelchair, worked quite hard to clean the floor.  She worked hard all her life so she still wants to help! You can see her swollen feet which we are always massaging to get the swelling to go down.  Maybe you can see the dark bruises on her shins. She rubs a foot on her leg when she is lying down and it bruises. We...

August 27

It’s been a week since mum got her tooth pulled. It all went very well as mum woke up calm on that day and we were able to take her to the dentist with no problem. At the dentist, she sat in the chair and opened her mouth, also with no problem. I took the letter the geriatrician had written to explain why mum had to have her tooth extracted and not root canaled etc. It’s because mum can’t sit in...

Paraphrasing Dylan Thomas – ‘It is my 94th year to heaven’

I have just arrived back from the trip I took and all went well. Mum only noticed I was gone today!! This is different from, say around December, when she’d notice I was not here and get upset. There was a time when it was hard to go out for supper because she’d cry and say I’d been killed, but now she doesn’t notice much. She’s quite confused but otherwise well considering. This...

July 29

This month has flown by, I must say. My hand is healing, but the scar hurts a lot and I still can’t lift any weight with it. I suppose it all takes time. I’m driving again, but turning the ignition key, putting in reverse, and pulling up the handbrake hurt a lot. The rest not so much, unless I have to turn the wheel a lot. Thanks for all those who sent prayers my way! Thanks for the comments on my...

July 19

Tomorrow I get my stitches out after the CT surgery. My fingertips are still a bit numb, but the doctor said this is normal and should improve over the next 3 months. But I can hold a telephone without numbness, hold a pen, type, so I think things are a lot better. Mum did another massage today because of her lymph glands that don’t work. Her feet/ankles are still very swollen. I don’t know if these...

July 6

This past weekend, especially on Sunday, mum was not well. I decided it was because she had not done number 2 for a number of days. I asked Magda if she’d ever given an enema and she said no and neither had I, but we decided to do it. We did and it helped a bit. At noon, I was eating lunch and mum was groaning loudly, hitting her stomach. I decided to finish eating because if I had to rush to the doctor, I...

July 2nd

Right now the firecrackers are already beginning to go off in preparation for the game between Brazil and Holland. We’re battling away trying to keep mum out of the hospital. I think we’re beginning to lose the battle. It’s depressing!! Last night, mum groaned all night long. It didn’t seem to be pain, so we think it was the neurological groan she has. It’s very distressing and hard...

June 14

Today we finally got to see mum’s angiologist. He took one look at mum’s swollen ankles and promptly started mumbling about thrombosis, but then he took out his machine and listened to her veins and said no, she doesn’t have thrombosis, her circulation is still quite good. So it looks like she did have erysipela as Emily (my daughter) and I suspected. He wants her to do 10 sessions of lymph...

June 6

First I want to thank everyone for the kind comments on my last post. I’ve been really off the computer lately because of carpal tunnel. Tomorrow I go to see a wrist specialist and I want to set surgery for July. Enough pain! Mum started talking again! Why, we don’t know, but she’s back speaking! It’s a relief! She seems to be having another episode of erysipela. We’re giving her...

May 19

Yesterday we took mum to the geriatrician and her lungs are fine. The bronchitis has disappeared and along with it the possibility of pneumonia. Mum has been groaning a lot, and I asked the doctor about it. She said that it is a behavioral symptom of Parkinson Dementia. It goes along with the hand movements that mum already has. She folds and folds the hem of her dresses or any cloth that is around. The doctor...

April 26

Thanks for the suggestion re: thickening juice and so on. Tomorrow the phonoaudiologist should come to check on mum’s swallowing – how bad it is and so on. Today I’m just rambling…I was looking at mum today and she is much weaker than a year ago. Even more confused. Sometimes she seems to have lost her capacity to talk, she just says sounds, that seem to be like syllables, but make no sense....

April 21

We’re having very hot weather here but we are able to keep mum full of liquids. We’ve decided to have her have some soup around 11 a.m., then when we eat lunch around 1 or 1:30, she has solid foods. This is all to get more liquid into her. I’ve been making a lot of gelatin desserts also to get her to have more liquids. I made a cocanut gelatin, very easy. A small bottle of cocanut milk (250 ml),...