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Stories, Support, Solutions
  1. tara

    I need to get a life.

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    | Tara's Blog
    February 11, 2009
    Or should I say, a better attitude. A more mature attitude. I realize today that I have so much influence over the quality of my life. Yes, the thing with my mom sucks. Yes, I find it difficult to interact with her. BUT wallowing in grief does not bring me...
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  2. tara

    I’m just not ok with this.

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    | Tara's Blog
    February 4, 2009
    I know my job is to accept this situation and do my best to work within it. And, I do my best to work within it. If you ask my mother, she will tell you this is the best living arrangement she’s had in years. I do her meds accurately,...
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  3. tara

    Is this is what my life has become?

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    | Tara's Blog
    February 3, 2009
    Hi again. If you’ve read my blogs you know that I have a very good life. A loving, wonderful, amazing husband, and the greatest 6-month old baby ever. Wonderful friends, terrific in-laws and some great members of my own family. At various points in my life, I’ve had other amazing...
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  4. tara

    sisyphus

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    | Tara's Blog
    February 2, 2009
    I’ve been ‘gone’ for  a couple of days because I haven’t had a bee in my bonnet. Things are kinda rolling along here. I think I get a lot happier and more comfortable with everything when my house is really clean. (To qualify—we moved cross-country recently, and across town when...
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  5. tara

    The Epicenter of Hope

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 24, 2009
    Hi! My friend Susan described my current hometown of DC as the epicenter of hope. Because of the new presidential administration. It is rather exciting to be here at this moment. Regardless of what you think of Mr. Obama’s worldview, you have to agree, he is one heck of a...
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  6. tara

    Sometimes it’s too heavy

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 21, 2009
    Sometimes I read Sharon’s blog. I can completely empathize with her negative feelings toward her husband’s walker. It’s weird how these inanimate objects become so laden with symbolism and emotion. For me, it’s my mom’s oxygen concentrator. It is on day and night, 24/7/365. The sound of it is so—heavy....
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  7. tara

    When Will Relief Come?

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 19, 2009
    I am still not feeling loving kindness, nor that I am any kind of decent person. The only thing I realize today is how I DIDN’T SET UP THIS WHOLE DYNAMIC, and if I had a choice, I would have set it up very differently. I would have chosen everyone...
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  8. tara

    Feeling the Feeling of Bad

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 18, 2009
    Hi again. I have written often in previous posts about my relationships with my mother and father. And, good, bad or ugly, how well I care for my mother as she lives with me, and, now…under duress, I limit my relationship with my father. And, you know from reading previous...
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  9. tara

    Growing Into Goodness

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 15, 2009
    One of my favorite authors, Ken Wilber, theorizes that each of us human beings has to grow into goodness. We are all born with the capacity for good and evil, and with our progression through the various stages of consciousness, we are increasingly able to express our goodness. Much like...
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  10. tara

    Ugh

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 15, 2009
    I often think that caregiving would be a cinch if I didn’t have to really TALK to my mom. Yeah, the logistics and coordination are expensive, inconvenient and sometimes frustrating, but they are well within my grasp. It’s the companion/ entertainer/ confidante role I really struggle with. I realize, there...
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  11. tara

    Drama Free Zone

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 14, 2009
    I’m happy to report that my aunt’s visit has been drama free. I guess in my father’s bizarre world-view, he has written ME off. HALLELUJAH, there is a God. Thank you God for sparing me. My aunt is a dream. She is in her 60s, but very determined and very...
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  12. tara

    Peeen-chay

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 10, 2009
    This is a bad word in Spanish that my friend taught me. I’ve spelled it phonetically since I don’t know how it’s really spelled. It refers to a male person with a bad attitude! In this case, I’m referring to my dad. He is having a flare-up. If you’ve read...
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  13. tara

    Forward Motion

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 9, 2009
    My husband and I talked, and we are looking forward to moving back to Seattle as soon as he finishes school. So–turns out, he doesn’t like it here either! Having that to look forward to lifts my mood immeasurably. I love to SOLVE problems—especially when things like CAREGIVING are so...
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  14. tara

    Getting Back on Track

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 8, 2009
    Recently in my life I’ve learned about the dynamics of feeling any kind of entitlement–and how damaging those feelings can be in relationships, with possessions, in one’s career. If we are neglecting or not facing up to something important that we are responsible for, reality delivers us a swift kick...
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  15. tara

    A Prescription for Me

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 8, 2009
    For inspiration and higher functioning: – try to fall in love with DC… …go to experimental music shows …go to the national museums …go on tours to wineries and farms – wear blinders, get satellite radio and audio books for long commutes – watch cable – shop at Wegman’s exclusively...
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  16. tara

    My Life As It Is

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 8, 2009
    I am still doing very well emotionally having reconciled myself to the reality of the caregiving situation. I am not doing so well emotionally with my present circumstances overall–and the area of my life it’s most noticible is at home–laundry, dishes, paperwork, boxes. We have just gone through a lot...
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  17. tara

    Today Is Better

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 8, 2009
    Today is a better day. I have really high standards for myself in terms of my behavior, my thoughts and my feelings. Even though I get discouraged, sad, disgusted, irritable, snappy(?) and exhausted at times, like any other human being, I have DECIDED, that I will be a loving, enthusiastic,...
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  18. tara

    Husband of the Year

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 3, 2009
    So–first I should say that, my husband is the love of my life. He is the most gentle, kind, caring, compassionate human being I have ever met. He is stunningly gorgeous, amazingly ambitious and a wonderful provider for our family. Sometimes I can hardly believe I get to be married...
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  19. tara

    About Mom (Part 2)

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 3, 2009
    So–yes, we had her involuntarily committed to a psychiatric facility. She looked like a prisoner of war. She had lost so much weight, she was skin and bones. She was so angry and accusatory. When she is in this state, it’s impossible to convince her that she can trust us...
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  20. tara

    About Mom

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 2, 2009
    So–FYI–if you’re looking for what I’m referring to as the Small Miracle, it’s the fact that I found this website and the ability to create a blog to chronicle my real feelings on a day when I was feeling so desperate. And, back to the context of my situation—and then...
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  21. tara

    A Small Miracle

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    | Tara's Blog
    January 2, 2009
    I thought I was going to go crazy today–I was feeling sooo desperate about my situation–and so isolated. Who wants to hear the reality of how difficult it is? (It, being, of course, caregiving). And then, I found this website. What a gift. I was looking up the definitions of...
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