I had a friend who married a man who bragged about his big house. To him, a big house made him a big man.

In our society, my friend’s husband isn’t the only one who measures bigness by the size of material possessions. Because of your caregiving role, you may feel that you’ve sacrificed one material possession after another, perhaps to the extent that you feel you have very little. The savings account for the summer house by the lake paid for the ramp over the front stairs of the house. The long-planned European vacation is long forgotten; now, any extra money will pay for a future bathroom remodel. Your closet, once full of the latest fashions, holds only clothes of comfort—jeans, t-shirts, sweat pants.

Some may wonder how you live without the summer house, the European vacation, the latest fashions.

In truth, our heart and our courage make us big. Our bigness can be measured not by our big possessions but by our big acts.

Someone needed care. You stepped up to the plate. You took on a big responsibility.

What you’ve replaced with your caregiving role--by being an advocate, a caregiver, an inspiration--will always dwarf the largest mansion, the sleekest car, the grandest jewelry.

Because you care, you are big.

   As a caregiver how can you recruit your own advisory board? Some ideas on individuals who would make great board members:

1. Your spouse. Okay, I know, sometimes, it's hard to give such power to someone who lives in the same house as you, who may not like how much time your caregiving role takes. But, your spouse is someone who observes first-hand what works and what doesn't--that's a critical and important perspective.

2. A support group member. It's important to have someone who understands your challenges, the in's and out's of the experience. In return, offer to be on that member's advisory board.

3. A member of your house of worship, so you can keep your spiritual health in check.

4. A good friend, so you are reminded to keep some of your own life.

5. Your care recipient so you are aware of his or her wishes.

6. The home health aide or the adult day staff, so you can keep up-to-date with needed services.

7. Another family member, whose role is to remind you to take care of your health with regular exercise and a nutritious diet.

Ask your board to hear you out once in awhile, to review your care plan, tweak your goals, suggest improvements. You may feel sometimes that asking for input puts you in the front of the firing squad. However, it is important to hear the observations from others in your life. And, suggestions are just that: You can consider, mull, reflect—and then determine whether or not the suggestions are right for you.

   Caregiving is all-consuming--it's truly overwhelming. It's often difficult to see the forest through the trees. Ask your board to help you cut back some of the over-growth. Trimming away the brush will help you streamline your effectiveness as a caregiver. And, the more clearly you see, the more meaningful the experience.

• What decision will make me proud in five years when I look back at this time?
• What fears do I have about this decision?
• Am I making this decision about me—when it’s not really about me?
• Do I have all the information needed to make a decision?

• The information you need.
• The person (or persons) who can help you sort through the fears.
• An objective perspective.
• A supportive sounding board. 

President Elect Barack Obama would like to hear from you about our country's health care. And, he wants you to lead a discussion.

Senator Tom Daschle, who has just been named Secretary-designate for Health and Human Services (HHS) has announced that the Obama team will be coordinating a series of “Health Care Community Discussion” around the country during the last two weeks of this month.  Those interested in health care policy at any level (micro, anecdotal, or macro) can sign up
to schedule locally based discussions.

The transition team says the community forums “are designed to help the Health Team flesh out key issues around health policy and give the Team fresh ideas about the best ways to promote the President-elect and Vice President-elect’s vision of quality and
affordable health care for all Americans.”

Over 10,000 people, many of them already involved in grass-roots efforts to push healthcare reform, have submitted comments on the website. By visiting www.change.gov you can sign up to lead one of these discussions in your own community. Once you sign up, they will send you a special moderator kit that will provide you everything you need to get the
discussion going. Senator Daschle will be choosing some discussions to attend in person and then report back to President-elect Obama.

Want to lead? Go here: http://change.gov/page/s/hcdiscussion