Solutions
To Your Caregiving Situations
Throughout Your Caregiving Years
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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Someone
Like You:
William
"Billy" Hodges Care Recipient: Billy's mother, with whom he lives, and his uncle and his cousin, who both reside in their own homes about 1/4 mile away from Billy. Nominated By: Patrick Akers, Chester, Va., Billy's uncle. Hardest part of caregiving: Trying to be available to all three of his care recipients. "I try to spend about 2 1/2 hours each day with each," Billy says. Advice I wish I had received when I first started caregiving: "Well, I didn't know how to cook or clean or do the laundry when I moved back. But now I do." Billy's specialty? Homemade biscuits. "They'll melt in your mouth," he says. Billy will cook both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners; the Thanksgiving spread will feature ham and a turkey. Stress reliever: "I might take a walk in the woods." Life lesson learned as a result of caregiving: "You never regret trying to help out family and friends." My proudest achievement: "Just this (caring for his family). I could show you strip malls in seven or eight states that I built, but they don't compare to this." The legacy I would leave to another family caregiver: "Do what you have to do, what you feel is right." My wish for my family in 1997: "Everybody be healthy." It's about 11 a.m. on a Sunday morning. For Billy Hodges, the day is already six hours old. Billy has dinner started--beef roast, carrots, potatoes. Breakfast, consisting of bacon and eggs (oatmeal for his uncle) and its dishes are long over. In a few minutes, he will make the short trip to his uncle's house and bring him back to enjoy Sunday dinner with Billy and his mother. After dinner and the dishes, Billy will drop his uncle back at his house, then head off to his 94-year-old cousin's house, to bring her spring water, a week's worth of groceries and chop her wood for her stove. Then, he'll tend to his 30 cows, head back home and prepare a light dinner for himself, his mother and his uncle. Seven years ago, Billy would have never envisioned his life this way. A construction supervisor who built strip malls throughout the south, Billy had his own life in North Carolina. But, six years ago, his mother needed help recuperating after major surgery. Because he's the only child, Billy took a leave of absence from his job to move back to Virginia and care for her. He invested his profit-sharing into his cattle and started his new life. Four years ago, his cousin, then 90-years-old, was admitted by the state to a mental hospital. When the hospital told Billy that she was fine to live on her own, Billy brought her home to care for her, much to the disliking of some of the local residents. "Well, she talks to herself," Billy says. "And she can be difficult to get along with. But, she's 94-years-old--she can be however she wants." When asked if Billy finds her difficult, he quickly adds, "Oh, no, we get along fine." His greatest concern now is his uncle, who recently moved to Virginia from Florida. Diagnosed with dementia and cancer, his uncle just completed radiation treatments. Billy drove his uncle the 18 miles into town daily for eight weeks. His uncle responded well to the treatments, although tires easily now. Although his cousin has the reputation for being "difficult", Billy finds his uncle to be his greatest challenge. "He doesn't know what's good for him," Billy says, "so I have to convince him of it." For instance, to keep his strength up, the doctor has ordered that his uncle drink five cans of Ensure each day. His uncle, however, disagrees. "So, I have to camouflage the Ensure," Billy says. "I might disguise it with ice cream or a milk shake or just tell him he's drinking something else." Because he lives in a rural area, Bill is a self-taught family caregiver. But, to his care recipients he's learned all he needs to know. "If it weren't for you," his cousin tells him, "I would be dead." His friends in North Carolina still call him crazy, but Billy disagrees. "It does take a lot of patience, but I would do it again," he says. |
The
Caregiving Years: |
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© Tad
Publishing Co. 2000 |
