Solutions
To Your Caregiving Situations
Throughout Your Caregiving Years
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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Someone
Like You:
Randall
Barnett Care Recipient: Mother, who suffers from dementia. Randall also helped care for his father before his death almost seven years ago. Nominated By: Phyllis Barnett Olinger, Randall's sister Excerpts from nominating letter: "In an age when children try to ESCAPE their parents and relatives DO NOT have TIME to help, my sibling has been wonderful to his parent(s). They are able to live a safe, comfortable life. It has meant that he has had to give up his live for the present. He deserves everything that life has to offer. In an age when parents often say 'my kid owes me', our parents owe everything to their children who care for them. The irony of life." Hardest part of caregiving: "Seeing my mother's declining health. Just recently Mom had a spot of breast cancer and had a mastectomy. As a man, I had a difficult time imaging how that experience affected her. I tried to sympathize with her the best I could." Advice I wish I had received when I first started caregiving: "I wouldn't have done anything differently. But, I do like things to be perfect. At home, it's not perfect. It's another life." Stress Reliever: "I direct music at our church. I play instruments--the guitar and string instruments." Proudest achievement in my life: "I like to accomplish things that are tough to tackle. I build musical instruments. At one time, I had a small, home-based business building and repairing musical instruments. It was a sideline business in addition to my full-time job (as a sales representative for a floor coverings store)." Life lesson learned as a result of caregiving: "I'm definitely more mature." The legacy I would leave to another family caregiver: "My faith." My wish for my family in 1999: "Good health and that we'll be together." When you're focused on the care of an aging relative, during your quiet moments, you might wonder, "Has life passed me by?" Randall Barnett, 36-years-old, admits to those thoughts. And, sometimes those thoughts go specifically back to his father. "My father was a good friend to me," he says. "He was the basis for my music. He told me what was good. I tried to take his advice. When I get down, I feel like I've taken his place." His musings quickly change to faith, faith that he is just following a master plan, and a master plan with a happy ending, at that. "Before my mother needed my help, I suffered a torn ligament in my shoulder," Randall says. "I used to play softball and be very physically active. The shoulder injury made me slow down and re-evaluate things. I had to re-evaluate my priorities and help my family more." As the plan would have it, his re-evaluation of priorities came at just about the time that his mother began to depend more and more on him. Her dementia requires 24-hour care; Randall hired two caregivers to stay with his mother while he works. As his sister Phyllis Olinger writes: "My brother works, comes home and is STUCK there because of mobility problems to care for her and answer the same questions 80 or more times a night. It is FRUSTRATION big time. I help but he does the majority." This fall, Randall joined some friends for a short golf junket to South Carolina. Although his sister provided wonderful care for their mother in her home, the change in her routine caused anxiety for his mother. "That would have bothered me one or two years ago," Randall admits. "But I had laid out all her medications and prepared her insulin shots (which she receives twice a day). I had to get tough and just do it. This trip was something I had to do for my soul. God will take care of Mom, no matter what. I needed to take care of myself. I needed exercise and fresh air." What's next in the plan for Randall? He wonders; he can't see it. But, I think we can all see it for him: A wonderful life, full of wonderful, loving family and friends--a golden blue print of life. |
The
Caregiving Years: |
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© Tad
Publishing Co. 1996-200 |
